Mistakes We Made (Wattys2016)

Chapter Fifteen

Emma's POV

"Guys?" I called out as I stepped through Kade's front door. The house was silent. I peeked into the living room, they weren't in there. I couldn't find them in the kitchen, the library, or upstairs. I let out a huff, where could they be? I was about to walk back down stairs when I heard laughter coming from the closest in Kade's bedroom followed by the sound of someone saying "shush."

I tiptoed across the room and yanked open the door. There my boys sat, their backs pressed against the back wall, both smiling brightly at me. Between them was a bag of Cheetos, they both had sippy cups in their hands. I raised an eyebrow at Kade, he simply shrugged. A few Hotwheels cars were scattered on the floor, along with an unfinished puzzle.

"Ma, sit." John commanded me to join them.

"What are we doing?" I asked them as I kneeled down in the space. The closest wasn't a walk-in, but it was big enough that the three of us could fit comfortably and even shut the door.

"It's our clubhouse." Kade shot me a wink over the top of John's head.

"Ahh.. well y'all haven't ruined your dinner with all of those chips, have you?"

"No Mommy, we've only ate a few." My boyfriend informed me with a grin. "I was thinking about grilling out with Tommy, Garrett and Rae, what do you think?"

"That sounds nice." I glanced down at my watch, it was a little after four. I stood up and opened the closest door, "I'll go call them and head to the store."

"Relax, I have everything we need and I've already called them. They'll be here at six."

"Maaaa," John whined, "sit."

"Yeah Ma, sit." Kade teased, so I did.

Around four forty-five, Kade said it was time to get started on supper. I picked John up and the three of us made our way down stairs. That was when I noticed there were pictures hanging in the hallway. There were frames that contained photos of Jace, the boys together, and one of their parents. I smiled, pleased that he'd finally decided to add some personality to his place.

"I think those are a nice touch." I nodded to the pictures, he gave me a small smile.

"I outta get one of John to put up there. Don't you think so, Buddy? Don't you think your picture needs to be on the wall?" Kade reached over and pulled John out of my arms, tossing him into the air making him squeal with excitement.

"You know, he really loves you."

"I love him a lot too." Kade tossed him up again.

"Kay love me." John repeated.

"That's right. He does." I tickled John's stomach.

"Me love Kay." John stated, his expression serious. I looked at Kade, his expression was one of surprise and sheer joy. It meant so much to him to hear that.

"Mommy loves Kade too." I whispered conspiratorially to John as I smoothed his hair out of his face. I glanced up slightly, Kade was smirking at me.

"John, close your eyes, I'm about to kiss your mom." Kade spoke to my son as he used his free arm to pull me to him.

"I love you too Em." He held me close to him as he gently kissed his lips to mine.

"Eww." John interrupted us, his nose scrunched up in disgust.

******

"Em, will you get me another beer?" Tommy shot me a grin as I walked past him to go back to my chair. I had walked back inside a few minutes before to take in a stack of dirty dishes.

Our friends had arrived promptly at six. Kade had prepared a meal of grilled chicken, corn on the cob, French fries and salad. Naturally, we had sweet tea to drink and the boys of course had a cooler full of Bud Light. We dined out on the back porch since the weather was nice. It was nice for all of us to be together again, but at the same time it was bittersweet. I was left with feeling melancholy because Jace was not there with us. It was our first time all being together since he had passed away. There we were laughing, talking, having a good time. We were all so happy, yet I know that each of us felt like a piece of us was missing.

"Yes Tommy. Anyone else?" I looked around the table.

"I'll take one." Garrett held up his empty bottle.

"I'll be driving you boys home tonight, just so you know." Rae informed them as she took another sip of her sweet tea.

"You don't have to do that Rae, I'm sure Kade won't mind letting us crash on his couch." Tommy teased as he took the beer I was passing him.

"As long as y'alls loud snoring doesn't wake my boy up." Kade replied as he looked down at the sleeping child in his arms.

"You can sleep on his couch if you want, but I'll take you up on that ride Rae, I appreciate it." Garrett lit a cigarette, then offered them around to the group. Kade and I declined, but Tommy and Rae accepted.

"Here, want me to take him upstairs?" I reached out for John.

"You know he isn't going to give him up. They're attached at the hip." Rae informed me.

"He's alright." Kade assured me as I sat down on the armrest of his chair.

"I swear he's only dating me because he likes having John around." I winked at Kade so he would know that I was joking around.

"Well for John and because you feed me." He teased me.

"Hey Em, you know if he doesn't treat you right, I'll always be your shoulder to cry on." Tommy playfully flirted with me.

"You keep your hands to yourself Tommy, I don't want to have to put you back into that wheel chair." Kade warned him.

"Scared She'll end up liking me better?" Tommy waggled his eyebrows.

"You wish." Garrett laughed. "Em does have standards, dude."

"Well she is raising John by herself, so she obviously went slumming at one point." Rae jumped in, shooting me a wink to let me know she was just joking around.

Tommy gave Garrett a pointed look, "See, so I do stand a chance."

"I think Kade has already won John's stamp of approval, sorry Tommy." I grinned at him, he pretended to be disappointed.

"Dang Em, there you go breaking my heart." He placed his hand over his chest, feigning hurt. "I might even cry."

"I'm sure it'll heal in no time."

Later that evening, as Kade I were lying in his bed, my mind was working over time keeping me from drifting off into dreamland. Even though my boyfriend was already asleep and my body was begging for rest, I couldn't shut my brain off. All I could think about was the secret that I was still keeping from Kade. I was terrified that I was going to lose him once I finally told him the truth. The guilt of keeping the secret was weighing on my heart, I knew I had to tell Kade soon, but at the same time, I wanted to put it off for a little while longer. I wanted to enjoy having him, because what if I lost him? What if he couldn't forgive me?

I wrapped my arms around him, spooning his sleeping body, "I love you Kade McCauley. Sweet dreams."