Mistakes We Made (Wattys2016)

Chapter Eleven

Emma's POV

"John Michael Alexander! Come put your diaper back on!" I chased after my little boy, who had decided he no longer wanted to wear his diaper. He preferred to walk around naked. He giggled as he made his way toward the living room where Kade was.

"Woah there Little Man." My boyfriend grabbed John as he rounded the corner. He quickly handed the naked baby back to me.

"Sorry about that. He hates diapers." I sat down on the floor and quickly fastened the diaper. I have John strict orders to not take it off again.

"Maybe it's time to start potty training him." Kade suggested. I pondered on that for a minute. It wasn't a bad idea. John would be two in six months, so maybe it was a good time to start.

"Maybe it is." I smiled at Kade.

******

In theory, potty training had been a good idea, no longer having to change dirty diapers had sounded really good. In actuality, it wasn't all that great of an idea. I had no clue what I was doing. I had never potty trained a child before.

We started bright and early, the next morning. It was a Saturday, which meant I had the rest of that day and Sunday to try and potty train my one and half year old son. However, by the end of the day, I was ready to give up.

After I put John down for the night, I plopped down on the couch next to Kade was a loud sigh, "It's days like today that I wish he had a father." I propped my arms up on my legs, and dropped my face into my hands.

"You're doing a great job Em." He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me to him.

"He's a little boy though. He needs his daddy."

I felt defeated. I know that sounds silly. It was his first day of potty training, he wasn't going to pick up on it right away, I knew that. I just felt like, this was something a father would teach his son. But my son didn't have a father and I felt bad about that. My son would never get to experience playing catch with his dad, his father would never teach him how to ride a bike, or coach his little league football team. All John had was me.

"Whatever happened with his dad anyways? I've never really heard you talk about him." Kade asked, looking down at me.

I glanced down at his pants and dusted off an invisible piece of lint, I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye. "It's complicated... But long story short, he's not around and he never will be."

"Wanna talk about it?"

I lifted my gave to him and gave him a small smile, before leaning toward him and placing a soft kiss on his lips, "I'd rather not."

"I like your idea better anyways." He kissed me again, pulling me toward him. So far he had done a really good job of following the rules and not kissing me in front of John. Of course, I knew that John was too young to understand it all, he wouldn't care if Kade kissed me, but I felt that I needed to keep my love life was not something my child needed to be exposed to.

I laid my head down on Kade's chest. I closed my eyes and took in the moment. Being with Kade made me happy, I felt content. Before we had started dating, I was fine with just having John, he was my pride and joy. But Kade made me realize, there is more to life than raising a child. One day that little boy will be grown and he will no longer need his mother. Kade made me see that while it's great that I focus so much on my child, I also need to make sure I live my life too.