If I'm Louder - Niall Horan Fanfic

Chapter 57 - I Don't Need You

Her kisses didn't give me that feeling Katie's did.

They didn't make my head spin around and shocks to run up my spine. They didn't give me butterflies. I didn't feel warm inside. My brain didn't fog up. They weren't pure bliss.

She was an amazing kisser, but I just didn't feel anything.

That doesn't mean I didn't kiss back.

My fingers gripped her jaw as she held my face. Our lips working together in sync.

Her lips were soft, but they were nothing compared to Katie. She didn't taste like Ka- DAMMIT NIALL! YOU'RE KISSING CARLY RAE JEPSEN! SHUT UP AND BE HAPPY!

I listened to my head and smiled into the kiss.

She broke from it, biting her lip. "Did that work?" She blushes.

I grin and nod, moving my fingers to her slim waist. I pull her close, attaching my lips hers again. Our tongues danced as she straddled my hips. She was slightly taller than me when she straddled me, but I just tilted my head back. My teeth grazed her bottom lip causing her to moan.

I shouldn't be doing this. Hell, I've never even been to third base out of all four. Why am I hitting first with Carly?! I'm in love with Katie....

But it hurts so much being in love with her... I'm sure she doesn't even love me back anymore.

I might as well move on.

I rub Carly's back as we snogged in her livingroom. In the dark, the only light from her telly.

I bit at her lip as she pulled back gasping for air.

I smile up at her weakly. She returned the gesture.

Her smile wasn't nearly as pretty as K- NIALL HORAN! STOP IT! STOP THINKING IT! DON'T THINK OF HER NAME! DON'T THINK ABOUT WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE! GROW A PAIR AND GET OVER HER!

"Niall... you're an amazing kisser." She giggled making my cheeks flush up. "Aw, you're blushing." She pinched my cheek.

I puff out my cheeks in a pout.

"It's kinda late." She mumbles, sliding off my lap. "You can stay the night if you want." She offers.

I nod, biting my lip as she stands.

"You can sleep in the guest room." She smiles. I follow her up to the room. She left me just as I kicked my shoes off. I just pull my shirt over my head then lay down. I'm not gonna sleep naked in Carly's guest bed. That's just wrong.

Part of me was happy. I kissed Carly Rae Jepsen!

Yet... part of me felt guilty... I know we're on a break, but it didn't feel right kissing Carly. What if Katie found out?

Forget about Katie! She doesn't love you!

My heart tinged in pain. I didn't want to believe it. But I guess I am.

We've been apart for about a month now. Three weeks, I think.

Hell, I know. I've been counting each second of the pure agony. It's been exactly 22 days, 14 hours, 56 minutes, and 34 seconds.

It's been a living hell.

I groan and bury my face into the pillow.

~Katie's P.O.V.~

He never came back that night. All of the guys and I sat in the livingroom waiting for him, later falling asleep. I don't wanna seem like a cry baby, but I cried a lot.

I was tucked underneath Harry and Louis' arms when I woke up from the light pouring through the windows.

I could feel the dry mascara streaks on my cheeks. I sniffled.