Summer Camp | Phan (1/3)

Chapter 21 - Waking up

8 is months later

The darkness was over powering. I was beginning to forget the whole world, who I was, what I lived for and why I stayed a live all this time. Life is strange, you live then you die, if you don't make an impact into the world, you're just another body that walked the earth. I wanted to make an impact, but is it to late. I'm stuck in a vortex of the unknown and I don't know how I got here or how to get out. Am I going to escape? Is Phil looking for me? Phil. Is he okay?

I was trapped in a room, it had a desk, and a chair. One light, which was so bright, yet so dim. No windows, no doors. Just walls. This place made no sense. I just wanted to leave.

I wanted to die, at times in my life. I cut, and I have since year 9, life can all get to much, and nothing will stop. Which hurts. I crave silence at times. I just want to be left to my thoughts, away from the haters, people who judge me.

It was getting darker. The room was closing in, my screams made no sounds, I was dead to the world.

- - -

'Phil!' I moaned, 'Phil I can't breathe.' I felt myself being pulled back to life, with loud beeping.
'3... 2... 1... Clear!' Was being shouted, louder than I have heard in a while. I haven't heard much, nothing but my own breathing.
'Dan?' I voice from the corner questioned. Phil. He was 18- well he must be now, so can be thought of as my guardian at places like the hospital. Which is where I guessed I was.
I tried replying, moving my lips, but I couldn't.
'He's back!' The woman announced, with little excitement. I looked around, the room had no life, yet neither do I.

'Daniel, I missed you so much!' Phil rushed over, he grabbed his hand and wrapped it around mine. I closed my eyes, enjoying his touch once more. It felt like a life time. 'Life has been horrible without you, I have had to work, come home, then come here. I hate it, sitting in a hospital, not knowing if my lover is ever going to awake, but you did.' His voice broke, and I could tell he was crying.
'Thank you Phil,' I whispered, my voice was unknowingly weak.

But, what actually happened? Thinking hard, it all came back at once. Like a flash.
I was arguing with Phil about seeing our parents.

-flashback 6 months ago-

'PHIL. I DON'T WANT TO SEE MY MUM!' I screamed, slamming the door in his face.
'Its her birthday, it's unfair on her, she hasn't seen you in two months!' Phil replied, opening the door and shuffling in.
'No, why do you always have to be so pushy, it's my life.'
'Im sor-'
'FUCK OFF, YOU ARE A DIPSHIT, WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY DO TO HELP THIS WORLD, NOTHING, LEAVE ME ALONE, PERVERT!'
'I- I-m sorry.. Okay..' He mumbled, obviously crying.

'Why do I get so worked up?' I mumbled to myself. Phil doesn't need me, I don't deserve him. Why do I have to be so fucking heartless, he helped me, I could be dead right now, I should be dead.

I went to the bathroom and grabbed a razor. 'Just a few cuts.'
But I had one to many, and I hit the floor, the hard stone floor, with a crack, I was out.

-end of flashback-

'Phil, I'm so sorry about before, you aren't a pervert, and I love you, I need you, you help me. You are my angel!'

'Daniel, it's fine, rest, you need it.' He replied, 'you have been under for almost two weeks.'
What?!' I jumped up. 'Shit, I actually missed my mums birthday, I should visit her, can we go? Now?'
'Go to sleep, I'll talk to the doctors?' Phil ordered, standing up.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath in, and falling into a deep dark sleep.

- -

'DAN DAN DAN, YOU CAN GO, WE CAN GO SEE YOUR MUM NOW!' Phil called out, I opened my eyes, somehow it was the next day, I slept.. 24 hours.

Soon we were out, and on our way back to my old house. Phil had a car now, so we could drive most places. He said he will take me to a deserted area, and let me have a go some time.

We pulled up to the house. My dad was home. He doesn't come home much, as he works abroad, doing various things.. He's part of a secret service, but to others I have to say he's just a plane pilot.

I knocked slowly. I heard the latch click, and the door was swung open, revealing my mum.

Her mouth, wide open in shock.