Phone Call

Finally

I stuffed my face with food at dinner. It'd been so long since I'd had actually real food. My real mom didn't do cooking. She literally burns pans, not even the water in the pan.

The one time she made something edible she ended up burning the stove eye out.

I scarffed down the La bokki even though I felt the tears in my eyes. I used to eat this with him all the time.
Jungkook's father (Papa) patted me on the back as I ate.

His mother watched me from across the table and periodically would pat my head in comfort.

"We missed you Leena-ah. I almost forgot how well you ate."

I stopped and set down my chopsticks.
"I'm sorry Ma.. I was scared to come back. And Jungkook didn't remember me so I didn't know if I had a reason to anymore."

"You're always welcome here Leena. You always were. We never blamed you for what happened. The only reason I said I forgave you in the letter is because I knew that's what you needed to hear. You were a little girl who was excited to see her close friends and they were so anxious to come back home to you that we were convinced to drive back home from a distant family member's home earlier. None of that was you. It was our decision as adults."

"But if I hadn't been so pushy about it..." I murmured. "He wouldn't have been hurt."

"He was just as pushy about it." Papa said to me. "I've never seen him so insistent on anything."

"He loved you Leena. Very much. He wouldn't want you blaming yourself. Now finish eating and rest up. You have to go see him tomorrow. You can use his room. It's still the same." Ma smiled.

That night I slept in his room on his bed and cried myself to sleep thinking about how I had to face him the next day.

🎶na na na na na na na na na🎶

Pinknamjoon/Johe♡:
Miss you babygirl. I hope your having fun on your family trip. STAY SAFE AND BEWARE OF STAIRS!!

I miss you too Namjoon.

》》》×《《《

"Anyong Oppa."

I looked down at the grave in front of me. The last time we met you were breathing. Now you're six feet in the dirt.

Jeon Jaejoo Oppa...

I sat criss cross looking at the stone that had his name carved into it. I set down the flowers and a jar of sand down and gently touched the cold stone head, tracing each letter of each syllable as slow as I possibly could.

"I'm sorry I'm so late. I couldn't find the courage to face you. I'm sure you've been waiting a while."

There was no answer. I don't know why I expected one.

"I couldn't help but think that if I had just...." I could barely finish as the tears started to fall onto the soft grass beneath me. "You could've had a girlfriend by now. Someone who really loved you. Maybe it would've been me." I laughed. "God knows how much I loved you Oppa. But I think you were rooting for me and Jungkook, which I couldn't even imagining being a possibility. He's just as much the cocky, smart mouthed brat he used to be. Or I suppose always was." I smiled warmly thinking about how the two of them would be like together now. "You'd still be scolding him, but you'd be so proud of your dongsaeng."

I know I am.

"I met someone Oppa. He's really sweet and really dorky. I think I love him. Though I'm probably the last one who would know anything about that. His name is Kim Namjoon. He randomly called me one day asking if my refrigerator was running." I wiped up my tears and chuckled. "He's very close with Kookie and takes really good care of him. He doesn't know I'm here right now. Neither of them do. I don't think I can stand seeing them this trip. I will though... eventually. When I'm not such a coward... Actually I-"

"Leena?"

I froze in place. It felt as if everything around me had come to a complete stop. Eventually I gathered the strength to turn and face the voice behind me.

"Jungkook..."

I glanced behind him and my heart dropped into my stomach and boiled in it's acid.

Namjoon.

》》》》

The gif is my feels..