All The Beautiful Worlds

Giving In

After Kristen said goodbye to Lindsey, Stevie showed him which room he would be staying in during his stay. It was one of the guest bedrooms down the hall from hers.
He thank her and she left the room so he could get settled.

The first few days Stevie and Lindsey would make small talk and sometimes they would make their way to Stevie's grand piano where she would play and Lindsey would follow with his guitar that he brought with him from home; both of them singing and harmonizing.
She even played him some songs that she had put away, not sure if they would see the light of day; but she felt the need to share them with him before it was too late.

Lindsey had only a few episodes but nothing too major. His children would visit Stevie's home after school so they could spend time with Lindsey.
Also he and Stevie would stay up late and reminisce about their younger years and recent stories of the road. They enjoyed talking about all the good times they had had. It was nice to share these moments with each other and not have Lindsey have an episode.

On Thursday,, Kristen called and told them that she wouldn't make it back on Friday like planned because they had extended her business trip and she wouldn't be back till Monday.

That night, Lindsey sat on the bed as his thoughts raced like they usually did when he was alone.
He thought about how his life has changed; as the days had gone by since his diagnoses and his condition progressed; he became more and more depressed.
He hated to be left alone; he didn't want to have time to think. If he had been home, he would be with Kristen or with his children, when he wasn't having an episode of course, or he would be with Stevie when she had visited.

Stevie had retreated to the living room wanting a moment alone; she sat on the couch writing in her journal, sipping on a glass of wine.

Lindsey sat in his room for a few minutes longer and couldn't take it anymore. He stood up and went to find Stevie.

He checked her bedroom first but didn't get a response when he knocked on the door.
So, he walked downstairs hoping to find her soon; he needed to be close to her.
He walked into the living room and immediately felt at ease when he saw Stevie.

She looked up as she heard his approach.
"Hey." She said with a smile.
Lindsey smiled back at her. "Hey. May I join you?" He said as he gestured to the couch.
"Of course." She replied.

They stayed quiet for a few minutes.
Lindsey looked over at Stevie. "I haven't said this yet but thank you for letting me stay here Stevie."
"It's no problem Linds. It has been nice having you here." She said smiling shyly.
Lindsey smiled but it didn't reach his eyes; Stevie noticed.
"Lindsey? What's wrong?"
"It's...nothing." He said looking away.
Stevie knowing him too well, put her hand on his shoulder. "Please, tell me."
Lindsey sighed. "It's just...I couldn't be left alone while Kristen is away. The kids, well, they're kids, they shouldn't have to take care me. Plus they wouldn't know how to deal with me when I go through my moments. It's weird that I need a babysitter now." He stopped, tears forming in his eyes. "In the beginning, I guess you could say I was in denial. As time went on, Kristen would tell me everything I said or did during an episode, it would shock me that I went back to which ever time and forgot who she was and our children. Also, I have these moments where I'm in the present and I know who everyone is but then for a moment I forget whatever it is I'm doing or saying. When I play my guitar, I could be playing a song; a song that I've been playing for years, and I sometimes stop in the middle of it and can't remember what cords come next! It has now just hit me recently that...I'm losing my memories, my music...my independence...I'm losing...myself. I'm...scared Steph. I'm...so scared."
Lindsey was sobbing now; Stevie's tears rolled down her cheeks as she had listened to him speak. She reached for him to bring him closer to her; he wrapped his arms around her and sobbed into her chest.