My name is Hell

Chapter 58

Hell's POV

"Ma'am nasa labas po ulit siya." nagulat ako dahil sa busy ako sa orders at yan na naman sasabihin sakin.

"Hindi mo ba sinabi na busy ako?" inis na sabi ko. 

"Eh sabi po niya yun da yung rason niyo kahapon eh. Nagpupumilit." napapikit ako at huminga nang malalim.

"Papasukin mo siya." sabi ko at tumalima naman yung trabahador ko. I tried to massage my forehead kasi kanina pa ako na-stress. After a couple of seconds may kumatok sa pinto ko at bumukas ito.

"Did I disturb you?" nakangiting tanong niya.

"Honestly, yes. Brick. Anong trip ito?" tanong ko sa kanya pero nginitian niya ako. This is his third attempt to talk to me. Nung isang araw, kahapon tapos ngayon.

"Coffee? Or we can go out for lunch." nakangiti paring tanong niya.

"I want you to tell me why are you doing this."

"Doing what?" tanong pa niya at napabuga naman ako nang hangin.

"This! What ever you call this!" I tried to spread my arms for action. But he grabbed my hand and pulled me up. Napasubsob ako sa kanya pero agad kong inilayo.

"I'll tell you if you're going to eat lunch with me." he gave me a wink and i just sighed.

"Fine, make it quick." 

So we ended up eating lunch outside my restaurant. Bakit nga ba hindi na lang kami dun kumain? Tanga rin eh.

The whole time ay nakatitig lang siya sakin. Tahimik. Hindi ko alam pero parang kuntento na siya sa pagtitig at wala nang balak magsalita. Wala rin naman akong sasabihin sa kanya kaya hindi narin ako umimik. Hanggang sa dumating na yung pagkain namin ay saka lang siya nagsalita.

"How's the food?"

"Okay naman siya." tipid na sagot ko. "Can you tell me now why you're doing this?"tanong ko.

"Grabe. Ganun mo ka-ayaw na kasama ako?" saka siya tumawa kaya sinamaan ko siya ng tingin.

"Fine i'll tell you. I'm going back to states in four days." napataas yung kilay ko.

"So you bothered me for three days just to see me and tell me that? Tinext mo na lang sana."

"Haha. Well hindi ka rin naman nagrereply kaya sa personal na lang. Grabe kase ang silent treatment mo sakin eh. Abot hanggang sa text."

Medyo na guilty naman ako. Nababasa ko naman text niya kaso hindi ko nirereplyan.

"Are you staying there for good?" tanong ko. Tumango naman siya.

"There's nothing much to do here anyways." gusto ko sanang itanong tungkol dun sa bata ni Mariel pero naisip ko baka mawalan kami pareho nang gana.

Hanggang sa natapos na kami kumain ay hindi na naman ulit kami nag usap. Ang awkward lang. Nilabas ko ang phone ko and tried to text Lucas. Third day na rin niya akong hindi kinakausap. Or kahit magpakita man lang.

"Do you wanna take a walk with me at the park?"napaisip ako. Siguro nga kelangan na rin namin nang closure. Ngayon ko na tatapusin. 

"Sige." 

Masarap ang simoy nang hangin. Naglalakad kami sa pathway kasabay rin nang ibang couples na nandito. It's just funny kasi ngayon lang namin ginawa ito kung kelan wala na kami. Madami rin ang nagba-bike at picnic lang. Pero dahil daw sa pagod na siya ay umupo kami and just watched the people around us. We talked about nonsense things and that's about it.

Hanggang sa magdidilim  na ay nandito kami and startedwalking around again. I inhaled to give me strength to say whatever I have to say.

"Brick?" panimula ko.

"Hmm?"

"Can you stop this?" 

Pagkasabi ko nun ay napatigil siya sa paglalakad at mataman na tumingin sakin. I can see pain in his eyes and I can feel it. 

"What if I tell you I still love you, that I didn't stop loving you?" seryosong tanong niya. Napalunok ako at biglang bumilis ang tibok nang puso ko.

"Please don't do this." I shook my head. 

"Damn! It's so hard for me to let you go." may diin na sabi niya. Hindi ko alam pero naluluha ako.

"Aaminin ko. Mahal parin naman kita. I still love you but not to the point that I will still go back out with you." Hindi ko alam pero parang nakita ko siyang magpunas sa mata niya.

"What hurts is that we never really said goodbye. We just kind of ended."

He tried to hold my hand and I just let him. That's where I started to cry. The way he held my hand, I missed that, but..

"You're a little too late. I'm alright no. In fact, I'm happy. I'm currently enjoying myself. Away from all the pain you caused me. But oh, don't blame yourself anymore. I also made a mistake, I cared too much. I did love you with all my heart that it destroyed everything about me." 

I tried to wipe away my tears but he did it for me.

"I lose myself in the process of loving you. And now, I'm free. I guess this is goodbye for us."

Pagkasabi ko nun ay  nagulat ako dahil bigla siyang lumuhod sa harap ko and hugged my legs. I tried to lift him up pero napatigil ako dahil yumugyog ang mga balikat niya. It pains me to hear his muffled cries.

Siguro kung noon nangyari ito, maybe, just maybe there would be another chance. But it was too late. A lot of things happened and everything changed.

"Give me another four days. Please. Kahit sulitin ko na ang four days na yun. Pwedeng unti unti? Because this is too much right now and I cant handle it anymore." hinayaan ko siyang umiyak without caring about the people around us.

"Bakit kasi hindi na pwede? Ang tanga ko kasi. Im so stupid because everything is my fault. But I'm glad you're happy. At least one of us is happy. Pero kasi ginawa ko naman ang lahat para bumalik agad. Siguro nga hindi sa mga oras na yun. Bakit kasi ngayon lang."

Hinila ko siya patayo at hinarap sakin ang mukha niyang hilam na sa luha. I touched his face and it feels like I'm gonna cry again.

"Maybe we should stop trying. Maybe this lifetime is not for us. I know it's not gonna be easy but we have to stop. Kasi Brick, hindi lang naman tayo ang tao sa mundo. It's not about us anymore because that is long gone."

Umiling siya.

"Four days. Kahit apat na araw lang. Spend the rest of those days with me. Please?"

"Will it make you happy?" I asked.

He stopped for a minute.

"You being mine would make me truly happy. But yes, that's close enough." napabuntong hinga ako.

"Okay. Four days. That's gonna be enough."

"I just lose a lifetime with you. Four days is all I'm asking. It may not be enough for me but i'll make it work somehow."

I wiped away his tears this time. "Tahan na. "

While looking at him it hit me, I thought I felt the most painful thing in the world but the most painful thing ever is having feelings for someone you can't be with.

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Sad chapter! sorry guys. Ngayon lang ulit naka update. Hindi ko kasi aam pano ito tatapusin. Kasi yung plano kong ending i'm sure baka madami magalit. haha. 

anyways.

What is the most painful thing you ever felt?

comment guys para ma-inspire ako. Thank you sa support niyo sakin at sa mga stories ko. ilabyou all!!