Bad By Choice

Chapter 8 - Hurting

WARNING! - Mature Content in this Chapter! 

Emma POV

After leaving the house I jumped in my bug and drove off, I wasn't even sure where I was going to go. Somehow I ended up at Jefferson's apartment knocking on the door. "Coming" I heard him yell out then coming to open the door "Emma? Hey whats" I cut him off crashing my lip hard against his, desperately demanding entrance, just wanting to forgot about Killian. To my surprise Jefferson pushed me away, "Emma? Are you okay?" He asked "I'm fine just fuck me already!" I shout as I push him towards a couch, him landing with a thud. "No Emma" He sits up pulling me onto his lap "And why not?" I say getting frustrated.

"I may be a sleaze but I can tell when a women only wants me to forget another man. And if you were anyone else I would just have my way with you and not think twice about it, but I care for you Emma and I'm not going to take you unless I know why you are running for your feelings." He said, I look into his eyes with utter shock "Come then, spill." I took a deep breath. Could I really tell Jefferson everything? But why couldn't I tell Regina, she is meant to be a best friend. Something about Jefferson seemed different today, making me feel I could complete trust him with my life. 

"Well when I moved here I thought I was just running from the pain of losing my parents, but really I was running away from love. His name was Killian, he gave me everything after their passing but all I did was push him away. I become scared of love, scared of losing him like I had lost my parents. I thought maybe if I made him hate me and leave it wouldn't hurt as much. But no matter what I did he stayed by my side, at least till one day."

Flashback - The day Emma left Storybrooke  

It was a cold and stormy afternoon in Storybrooke and I had been crying all day thinking of my parents. By this point I hardy ever went to school anymore. Killian and Conor came home walking in to see Killian had dark sad eyes just like most day after school. He was begin to wear down from everything I had been doing. "Emma? You okay?" Conor sweetly asked looking pretty worse for wear himself, I just stayed silent feeling bad for making Conor have to also go through all of this.

"Conor, why don't you go upstairs for a bit." Killian asked, well more like told him. Conor nodded and headed to his room, but before he did he came and gave me a little hug and whispered in my ear "I love you Emma." I could see in his eyes he knew what was to come. "Emma? Please talk to me" Killian said sitting beside me placing a hand me on my thigh, I shot him a look and quickly pulled away from him and raised my hand ready to slap him. But he grabbed my wrist, something he had never done before. "Emma! Stop this! I'm trying my damn hardest here not to fight back! All you do is yell at me or hit me and just expected me in sit by and let it happen! Do you understand how much you are hurting me!" I could tell he was at his breaking point, it killed me to see him like this but I knew exactly what to say to push him over the edge.

I pull myself away grabbing a glass on the coffee table throwing it at him and shout out those word I'll never forget "I hate you! I never ever loved you!" He doesn't even move, taking the hit of glass to his chest. All I see in his eyes in rage and angry 'Shit maybe I took it to far, what if he hits me back? He'd never do that right?' Killian voice pulled me from my thought "Well if you hate me so much why don't you just leave!" He shout grabbing another glass from the table. I close my eye and flinch as the hear the crash of glass. I open my eyes to see Killian gone, I feel my body waiting for the pain to set in only to not find any. But to see the glass had been smash on the wall.

Present Day 

"And with that I left and never looked back" I say finishing my story breaking into tears. "Do you still love him?" Jefferson asked pulling in his tight embrace "I really don't know, I just seem to be thinking about him a lot lately." I lie, of course I still loved him but there is no way after what I put him through that he would ever want me back, I need to forget! "Jefferson?" I say looking deeply in his eyes "Yeah?" He seemed hesitant "Make love to me" I pretty much was begging him to help me forget, without words he slowly places his lips tenderly on mine. 

It was so gentle and sweet nothing like any kiss we had ever shared before. His hand slowly move up my back, tangling his finger in my hair. Our lips parted and I move so I am now saddling him "Emma you are 100 percent sure about this, I don't just make love to anyone." I nod. He stands up in one swift movement holding me up with his hand softly grabbing on my bum, as I wrap my legs around his waist taking in a passionate kiss as he carries me towards him bedroom. 

Jefferson places me delicately on his bed, his hand running up and down my body as he took my clothes off and then his own, placing kisses along my neck down towards my breast where he nipped at my nipples making me let out a slight moan. I took a deep breath has he continued kissing  down my body and spreading my legs slightly as his tongue glided over my opening. I felt a rush as he brought me over my peak. 

"Jefferson I want you" I slowly say just loud enough for him to hear, I feel him slowly enter me filling me entirely with this long and thick length. It was strange to be taken so gently and kind by him, it was different then when we would fuck for the cameras or when we both just needed release. He didn't seem to care about his own pleasure, only about mine.  He continued to take me over my peak again and again till I was thoroughly satisfied and only with my approval did he take his own release. 

We lay wrapped in each others arms, myself with a bit of disbelief of what had just happened "Where did that come from?" I ask looking into his eyes once more "From the heart, I wasn't lying when I said I care for you Emma" he shyly said. I lay there in complete awe of him, this was a side of him I'd never seen but I liked it very much. Any thought of Killian had halted from my mind and replaced with sweet thought of Jefferson touch.  

Author Note - What you guys think? Hope your still liking my story. If you want a CaptainSwan to be reunited in the next chapter comment this up letting me know! As I'm going to start writing it some time today.