Never Ending Problems

Chapter Four

Anna's POV

The guys left around nine; giving me about two hours until my dad got home. I knew exactly what I was going to spend my time doing. Cutting wasn't something I was proud of. I saw it as an escape from reality. I started about four years ago. When I first started I was afraid that the guys would find out. They would be so disappointed in me that they would never want to see me again.

I went to the bathroom and locked the door. I grabbed the razor and rolled up my sleeve. I dragged the sharp blade across my wrist in short thin strokes. I sat with my back pressed against the door as I watched the blood seep out of my wrist and onto the bathroom floor.

After about fifteen minutes of watching my wrist I went under the cupboard and grabbed the bandages. I carefully wrapped it around my arm and pulled my sleeve down. When I had finished cleaning up I wandered to my room to lie on my bed. Half an hour later I had fallen asleep.

Dream

Anna's POV

Me and the guys were all down hanging out by the pool. We were having a great time splashing each other and play fighting. "Hey you guys wanna do chicken fights?" Carlos asked with excitement. Before I could say anything I was on Kendall's shoulders facing Logan who was on James.

"You ready to go down Logie?" I loved teasing Logan; it was something we had done since we were kids. We started fighting and I was winning. I'm pretty sure he was letting me win but it was still fun. All of a sudden I saw the joyous look on Logan's face turn to one of horror.

"What's wrong Logan? Can't take a beating from a girl?" Kendall was teasing him but then I saw what Logan was starting at. His eyes were glued to my wrist.

"What the hell is on your wrist?" Logan was yelling at me as I yanked my wrist out of his grasp and got off Kendall's back.

"Nothing." I lied. I couldn't believe I was so stupid not to cover my arm. Logan saw it all.

"NO! That's not nothing! Do you cut yourself?" Logan had yelled loud enough to attract the attention of the rest of the guys who had now backed me into a corner.

I started to panic. I could feel my face draining of all colour and my heart beating rapidly. I couldn't even look at the guys but I felt their gazes burning a hole in my face. All I did was shake my head 'yes'. The next person to speak was Carlos and James "What are you some sort of emo attention seeking freak?" I buried my head in my hands. They were reacting the exact way I'd thought they would.

"I can't believe you would do something like this Bells! I can not believe we were ever friends. YOU ARE PATHETIC!" Kendall stormed away and I sobbed even harder. I looked up to see Logan's glare. "Logan I-" "Oh save it Anna. James was right, you are just some attention seeking emo, some useless piece of shit and you disgust me." Logan stormed off and left me by myself.

End of Dream

I woke up bawling my eyes out. After that dream I knew that there was absolutely no way I could let the guys find out. No matter what.