Time to Rant (Cae)

708 41 38
                                        

Things I want to eat:

Wotsits

Pringles

Marmite

Kinder Eggs

Cadburys

Heinz Beans

A GOOD cup of tea

Things Cali won’t let me eat:

ALL OF THOSE. Come on, what’s a British girl gonna eat around here?

Things I say to piss Cali off:

Wanker

Tosser

Bugger

Bastard

Anything that I pronounce with a long “a” à grass. bath. class. pass. craft.

Jolly

Spiffing

Whatnot

Tallyho

Good God I swear nobody even says that

Loo

Arse

Barmy (which she fucking is)

Fag (I mean cigarette, you knob!)

Things I hate:

When Cali takes the piss out of my accent

When Cali doesn’t take the piss out of my accent

Being hungover

Fucking fast drivers

Pissing in public loos

Selfish pavement wankers (let me walk past, goddamnit!)

Not speaking to Cali for a day

When Cali doesn’t get my jokes

When I don’t get Cali

Caligula and Caesar's American AdventureWhere stories live. Discover now