So we got to the lighthouse today. It’s pretty damn tall, I must say. A lot fucking taller than what I was expecting.
When we were on the way Cae was all excited to go up this fucking lighthouse and “breath in the fresh air,” all that shit. I don’t really care, I just hoped it got good cell reception in case Waiter Guy or Hot Frisbee Guy decided to send me a dick pic.
So we start walking to the top with all these other people and Cae goes “This is too tall.”
“...What?”
“This building. It’s too tall.”
“Do you not have lighthouses in Wotsit Land?”
“We do, but they’re better.”
“Of course. It’s English, therefore better.”
“Yes.”
So we kept climbing, and then Cae yells “Fuck this!”
A small boy behind her pointed and whispered “She said a no-no word...” to his mom, and then she got all up in Cae’s shit:
Mom, to Cae: “Ma’am.”
Cae, totally oblivious, as she often is: “This shit is fucking bullshit.”
Me; “Awesome language. Are you a descendent of Shakespeare?”
Cae: “Fuck you. Fuck this. Fuck my life.”
Mom: “MA’AM. YOU’RE CURSING IN FRONT OF MY SON.”
Cae: “Your son is being a little bitch. A word is a word. What is it going to do, come up and slap you? Oh wait, no, that’s what I’ll do if you don’t shut the fuck up.”
Me: “Jesus, are you on your period or something?”
Cae: “Shut the fuck up. I don’t like heights, and I can see how high we are.”
Mom: “Did you just say you’d slap me?”
Cae: “Yes I did. Would you like to continue being a bitch until I do or would you like to move your old-ass up the stairs?”
So that’s how we got to meet the head of security at Portland Head Light.
He’s not a very cool guy.
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Caligula and Caesar's American Adventure
Teen FictionJoin Cali and Cae as they explore the vast expanse of the Americas, and the lovely platonic-yet-slightly-lesbianic relationship they have with one another. Bands, books, ice cream, and confusing British terminology are all conversations on the table...
