loving on the line

chpt 16

Hey hey, sorry guys i know its been ages, but i've had writers block and exams. But now that i've finished both (yayayay party) its time to get back on track. i know where i want this story to go and i hope to upload a bit this week. thanks so much for reading and please continue to give me some feed back :) and may the odds be ever in your favour! (sorry im going mildly loony as catching fire came out and it was amazballs so perf cannot even explain how true to the book and great it was)

macey's p.o.v

Its funny how you miss the small things, like the ability to slip on a pair of heels, i'll be it only a small wedge, but still to be able to walk uncomftablity again is nice. it feels good to not throw up anymore due to the treatment, it feels good to be able to scull three cups of coffee straight and stay up until 2 am and not be tierd. it feels good to be me again.

"so where is Mr Styles?" i ask zayn, who is showing me his new gardens. "last time i heard he was clubbing with some models" he says with little intrest in his voice. "with what models?" i ask passion rising in my voice. zayn gives me a questioning look "i dont know macey, we're on holidays i havn't seen him in a week, if you want to know ask louis or better yet go ask him yourself". I sigh, like thats going to happen. 'hey Harry i just phoned because i heard you were partying with some models and i dont like that' yeah like that would go down well.

we are admiring a pebble court yard off zayn and Perrie's bedroom looking back at the party in the center of the garden, "she's beautiful" zayn smiles. I follow his gaze to Perrie, her pink hair standing out amoungst the group. "yeah, i'm happy for you" i smile. he looks at her with such admiration, the way every girl wants to be looked at, its enough to make anyones heart melt. "im happy for you too" he replies, "you getting better, you look better and im sure Toms behind some of it". I nod slowly searching for Tom amongst the party, he's talking to some older lads, beer in hand, a grin on his face. he is beautiful, his shaggy hair, his stubble, his cheeky grinn, and he is mine. "yeah, its gonna get hectic soon, i'm filming a bunch of new stuff soon". "yep, life's hectic" zayn mumbles taking a sip of his beer. i give him a hug and we stand for a few moments in peace.

"hey babe, i was thinking" Tom pauses, "we should go out for dinner?" "yeah i am kinda tired, and i have an early start, staying home sounds good" i huff trying not to sound like a bitch but coming off like a total bitch. "err okay a night in then" he says slowly. The car turns into my drive but Tom doesn't park he just sits there letting the engine run. His face looks tired, worn down and rough. His eyes are more swollen in the harsh dashborad light. "your not coming in? stay over again, you make my bed warm" i plead. "and now i know why your a dam good actress" he smiles but it doesnt spread to his eyes. "i think i may aswell go home", "oh yeah sure" i stammer taken back, Toms is always so sweet, whats changed? i lean over and give him a kiss on the cheack. "Your leaving in a week" he adds just as I'm about to leave the car. "Yeah so?" I snap. Yes I know I have a temper, and My friends and family usually bare the brunt of it, but I'm not going to Make my self tiny and quite in order to avoid conflict. "I just want to spend time with you". "We just spent a days together, and like I had lunch with your family on Monday" I scowl. "Yeah sure whatever, I get to spend two fricken days out of the year with my girlfriend, lucky me!" "Tom I'm an actress its my job to be busy! you especially should understand!". I'm not used to this, relationship stuff, I'm independent and Tom doesn't understand. Tom doesn't understand me, and thats the conclusion we've been heading towards for months. "...." ".....". tom starts the car in reverse making me shut the door. I want to scream, i want to run up to his window and make him talk to me, i want to kick and punch and yell until he understands, But we have never been a vocal couple.

i slump back onto the steps, letting the darkness  calm me. The night has an typical english breeze to it, the type which is enough to make you shiver but it is still bearable. my phone lights up, is it Tom? god i want his voice to calm me, i want him to tell me this fight was silly, he'll tell me we'll spend the next week together and see what comes, he'll tell me everything will be okay. 'Macey, hey listen its-" "Harry, i would know that voice anywhere"  i sigh. "....look we havn't really talked, and um you know it's very like cold, here in england, so we should go get a beer or a hot chocalte or something?". I'm blushing now in the most inapproprate way. maybe it will be okay though, "so how are things?" his voice sounds sincere. "not good really it think everything just fell apart about 10 minutes ago". ".....tom", "how did you know?" i ask, the qustion is full of so much hope, like a little child at christmas. "your happy, but it only goes so far, if relationships work its becuase they run deeper than the surface". oh... "so are you saying we wont work?" "no, not at all but you need to figure that out" he says softely. As Harry talks his words begins to mend me, maybe Tom and i can work, maybe i can fix the bridges i have burnt. its now pitch black and all i can think of is the life we could have, in a big house, Tom going to golf in the mornings while i sleep in, but just as soon as i think i am mended i fall apart by one simple phrase.

my screen lights up

Tom:

"i need a break"

..........and just like that my world falls apart