Allegiance | Kylo Ren

IX

"How were you injured?" Ren's sudden question made me jump. I had been on the verge of sleep, and I was racing to clear my mind from grogginess. My mind spun for a moment as I struggled to synthesize an answer to his simple question.

"I-I... Well, I..." My stammering was frustrating to both of us. I was embarrassed by my inability to produce basic words, especially after having spoken so honestly and clearly not long before. Finally, I gave up. I swung my legs over the side of my bed, grabbed my IV, and hobbled my way over to his bed. Careful not to sit on his legs, I perched on the edge, grabbing his hand.

"What are you—" He sounded alarmed, but his words cut off as I pressed his fingers to my forehead, squeezing my eyes shut. He wordlessly understood what I was trying to do, and he delved into my memories easily.

I tried to tell him everything. Everything that had happened that day.

It was my first mission. The mood was cheerful in the trooper barracks that morning, a buzz of excitement for the impending mission. We were getting to leave the base, we were breaking from our normal schedules of eat, sleep, train, obey. Many of my fellow troopers had been on several missions already, but they knew it was my first, and they were giving me encouraging claps on the shoulders and back as they passed by. I put on my armor slowly, savoring the adrenaline that was coursing through my veins. Taking a deep breath, I slipped on my helmet and followed the last of the troopers out the door.

Together, we boarded ships to take us to a location unknown to us. We didn't need to know where we were going; we knew what our job was. I glanced around at the identical figures standing around me, realizing that many of them would not be returning home.

I clutched my blaster a little tighter to my chest as the rumble under our feet indicated the firing of the engines. Soon enough, we were in the air. The lights flickered overheard.

Then we were there.

I killed the two rebels and noticed the third. The man on the ground trying to shoot my leader.

The ground seemed to shake under my feet as I raced towards the figure cloaked in black, reaching him just in time to give him a small shove and take the shot directly to my stomach. His mask stared coldly down at me before he turned and reentered the fight.

I fell to the ground and lay in a heap of pain. I knew that I would be left behind, disposed of like any other injured trooper. But I knew deep down that it was worth it. I had done my job. This was what I was here for.

But I wasn't left on the dusty ground. I was picked up and carried by something I couldn't see or feel, and I was brought back on board the ship and carried home.

Kylo's fingers left my forehead. I opened my eyes. He was holding his hand back as if I had burned him.

"It was you?" His voice was weak, as if he couldn't quite believe that I had saved his life.

I nodded, unsure of what to say. Finally, a question formulated in my mind and I forced myself to ask it. "Lord Ren... Why am I alive? How did I get back onboard that ship?"

His dark eyes, which I now realized were brown, not black, were searching my face. "I carried you. Not physically, of course, but with the Force."

I swallowed shakily. "Why?"

We stared at each other for a long time. Then he shrugged, breaking eye contact. "I don't know."

"Yes, you do." I urged. I needed an answer. I needed to know why.