Allegiance | Kylo Ren

XIX

The next morning, I sat on my bed, staring at my new case of armor. I was nervous to wear it; it was beautiful, but I knew what the reaction would be. The other troopers got dressed around me, casting me curious glances as I sat motionless.

Finally, with a deep breath, I leaned forward and unlatched the case. It popped open, revealing the armor within. My eyes scanned over the smooth black and red surface, admiring the clean lines and contrasting colors. I stared at it for a moment before leaning forward and snapping the case closed again. I couldn't do it. Not today.

Tomorrow for sure. I told myself, not sure if I believed my own promise.

I remained in my base layer clothing as I made my way to meet Mason. He was in his usual cheerful mood, smiling when he saw me approach.

"Calia." I announced proudly as I made my way to him, a wide grin on my face.

He frowned slightly, confused. "What?"

"It's my name. Calia, but Cal for short because I'm lazy."

"Calia." He echoed, smiling. "That's pretty."

"Thank you." I answered shyly, not bothering to tell him about Kylo being the one to come up with it.

"So, Cal, I've got some good stuff planned for today." Mason smiled and slung his arm over my shoulders as we walked to the training room together.

Training went by quickly; I was growing stronger each day, and my confidence was soaring with each task that I accomplished. The pain in my abdomen had all but vanished; all of the stitches were gone, leaving behind puckering pink skin to document my first mission. It was ugly, but I had come almost like it—it was a reminder of both the mission and everything that followed.

Mason didn't notice my injured hand; between Kylo's healing and a good night's sleep, there wasn't much left to show. Only a pale bruise and a few nondescript scabs betrayed my moment of rage the day before.

"You're making fantastic progress." Mason remarked as we wrapped up our session. "You should be back in no time, probably sooner than expected."

I grinned, barely able to hold back a squeal of excitement. I clapped my hands to his cheeks. "Oh, I could kiss you! It'll be so good to be back."

He mirrored my smile, his green eyes sparkling as he gazed at me. "I wouldn't mind that."

I felt my cheeks burn slightly, recalling our previous encounter. I gave him a playful nudge, and his hand wrapped around my wrist, pulling me closer to him. I gave a soft laugh as my body collided with his, looking up into his face. He pressed his lips against mine softly. I smiled into the kiss, snaking my arms around his shoulders and interlacing my fingers behind his neck. When we pulled away, I bit my lip and leaned my forehead against his, enjoying the way my heart was fluttering faintly in my chest.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Calia." He pressed one last kiss to my lips, and I grinned at the sound of my name.

"I'll see you, Mason."

I returned to the barracks in a happy daze. I collapsed on my bed with a cheerful sigh, replaying the kiss in my head. My heart was still pounding, and I couldn't stop smiling. I grinned into my pillow, recalling the way my name had sounded leaving his lips. It had sounded so right.

When I managed to calm down, I took a quick shower and redid my braids. I stared at myself in the mirror, analyzing my features. The dark circles had finally left my eyes, and a glow had returned to my skin that had been absent during my stay in the hospital wing. My blue eyes gazed brightly back at me, and my hair was cleanly woven into the usual three blonde braids, the ends of the braids tickling the tops of my shoulders.

Satisfied with my appearance, I pulled on fresh clothes—the same black apparel as every day—and left to meet Kylo. It took me a moment to remember the route back to his room—up two floors, a left, a right, and to the door at the end of the hall. I knocked softly, and the door slid open after a heartbeat.

Kylo met me in the doorway, a crease between his eyebrows as he looked at me.

"Hi." I gave him a smile.

He didn't speak, staring at me with an expressionless confusion that made my ears burn.

"You told me yesterday to come back again today." My smile was fading as his confusion didn't seem to be leaving his expression.

"Did I?" He glanced down, looking as if he were digging through his memories in an attempt to remember.

"I-I can go, if you'd like..." I motioned as if I was going to leave.

"Come in." He stood aside so I could enter. His room looked identical to yesterday. He squinted at me as I passed, and I felt myself blushing slightly.

"I was very tired yesterday—" He began to explain.

"I think you were half-asleep the entire time I was here." I forced a laugh, perching on an armchair.

He frowned again, but then relaxed, eyeing me. "You aren't wearing your armor."

I glanced down at my black base layers. "I-I'm saving it for my first mission back." As the words left my mouth, I realized that the idea was a good one. "I need to make a dramatic return."

The corners of his mouth quirked upwards, but any signs of a smile quickly disappeared. I was uncomfortable in the silence that followed, and so I resorted to examining my healing hand instead of trying to make conversation.

Kylo must have read my thoughts. "I can do some more healing, but then I might fall asleep again."

I snorted a laugh. "That's alright. I don't think it really needs much more healing anyways."

We fell back into silence, and I found myself yearning to leave.

You're easier to talk to when you're half-conscious.

It was Kylo's turn to give a quiet laugh, and I looked up at the noise. His dark eyes were fixed on me, making me feel translucent. I slumped further back into the arm chair, meeting his gaze evenly.

"So how are things at the top of the First Order?" I asked at last, a weak attempt at making conversation.

He shook his head. "I don't want to talk about that." I made a face, and he rolled his eyes. "You talk about something. I like it when you talk. You're better at it than I am."

I frowned slightly, trying to think of an interesting topic. Kylo offered no help, sitting on his bed with his dark gaze fixated on me. I settled for telling him about my early trooper training—how we had gone through procedures to clear our memories, then were given codes and sorted into groups for training. I adjusted myself so I was laying across the arms of the chair I was sitting in, staring at the ceiling as I told him about target practice, physical training, and classes on various weapons and how to use them. I told him about receiving my first set of armor, and how excited I had been to try on the helmet.

Through all of my rambling, he kept his eyes on me, seeming to absorb my every word. Despite his expressionless face, he seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying, although I wasn't entirely sure why; my stories were typical of every trooper, and weren't particularly captivating.

When I had run out of things to say, my throat was dry. I didn't know how much time had passed; I had a gift for being able to talk for long periods of time. I snuck a glance at him. He was laying down on his bed, his eyes still fixed on me.

"I should probably get going." I glanced around; there was no clock in the room.

Kylo nodded, his face still void of emotion.

"Calia?" His voice caught me as I opened the door. "Come back tomorrow and I'll fix your hand."

I smiled to myself as nodded silently, hearing the door slide shut behind me.