Allegiance | Kylo Ren

XCV

It had been four days since we returned from our mission; I had been conscious for three of them, and Ben, zero. I had tried to stay in his room as much as I could, but it was growing to be too difficult with the nurses constantly having to maneuver around me, and after a bit they called in Poe to forcibly remove me.

There had been no change in Ben's condition, which was neither good nor bad. He remained in a consistent state, unresponsive to any treatment attempts but also in stable condition.

I was assured by several members of the staff that I would be alerted upon any kind of change, but I was not comforted. We were trapped in a constant state of uncertainty, with no way to make any kind of prediction.

Currently, I sat next to Poe and across from Rey and Finn at a table in the cafeteria, listening numbly to their plans for the future.

"I think I'll ask Leia if I can take one of the fighter jets." Poe mused, his finger twirling a stir stick in his coffee. "And I'll just travel for a while. No permanent home, no responsibilities. Just me and my jet."

Rey hummed in agreement. "I'm going to do some research to find out what happened to my family. I'd like to know my lineage, and why they left me on Jakku so long ago."

Finn gave her a small smile, nodding. "I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet. I don't have any plans or family to return to."

Rey nudged him playfully. "You could come with me. We make a good team—you could help me track down my parents. Plus, I'll need someone to man the guns on the Millennium Falcon while I fly it."

The man made a thoughtful sound. "That's actually not a bad idea. As long as we don't go back to Jakku again."

Rey chuckled softly before the three turned their eyes on me expectantly. I stared down at the table, drumming my fingers softly against the wooden surface.

"I'm going to find a home somewhere quiet and settle down. I need some constancy in my life, at least for a little while." And I need Ben.

My friends nodded, satisfied by my answer. They seemed to understand what had been left unsaid, and why. I was grateful that they didn't press further.

"Where do you think the rest of us will go?" Finn's eyes scanned the room, which was filled with groups of people having similar conversations.

Poe shrugged. "They'll disperse, live their lives."

"Then, when we need them again, they'll come back." Rey added. "We all will."

I gazed at her wordlessly. Despite how morbid her words may have sounded, they held an air of truth. No matter how peaceful things were at the moment, there was always something new to threaten the galaxy. First it was the Sith, and then it was the Empire, and then it was the First Order. Each time, the dark forces were defeated, but each time, they were followed by something equally dangerous. There was no telling what would be next this time, or how long it would be before they arose to power and a force like the Resistance would be needed.

We would need to rebuild the Republic. Since it had been destroyed by the First Order, the galaxy had ruled itself, falling into a state of anarchy. But now that the First Order had fallen, we were free to reconstruct our government however we saw fit.

My eyes fell on Leia, who was conversing with Luke across the room. She was a wise leader—she would likely be instrumental in setting up a new government body. Perhaps she would even be a part of it. Since the Resistance had been the organization to defeat the First Order, that was probable. Luke, however, was unpredictable. I wasn't sure he would want to reopen his Jedi training school—the first experience had taken a toll on him, and he was growing old. But somehow I couldn't see him disappearing again. He had the rest of his life to live, and he had already spent much of it alone. No, I was certain he would stay this time.

It would take time for the galaxy to heal the wounds that the First Order had so wrathfully inflicted—cities would need to be rebuilt, and tensions would need to be relieved. As my gaze wandered around the room, I realized that these people could prove instrumental in restoring things to how they had been.

And, as Rey had pointed out, when the galaxy was threatened again, they would return. These people were motivated by what was right and just; when they were called to action, they would answer that call without hesitation.

"When I find a place to live, I'll find a way to send each of you my location." I said suddenly. "I want a fresh start, but I don't want to forget you guys."

Poe grinned, giving me a sideways hug. "You won't. We're unforgettable."

"Yeah, we'll visit so often that you'll be wishing you never told us where you lived." Finn let out a laugh, and even Rey chuckled and nodded her agreement.

I smiled—a true, genuine smile. The first of that sort since we had returned from the mission at the First Order base. My heart was warmed by the fact that I had such good friends, even if I in all honesty had not known them for very long.

My friend's cheerful expressions faded as their eyes fell on something behind me. I turned in my chair to see a nurse standing behind me, her face unreadable.

"You'll want to come with me." Her words were quiet.

I was on my feet at once, my chair clattering to the floor behind me and a piece of it breaking off and skidding away. But I didn't care. I broke into a run as I passed the nurse, my feet leading me to the small room at the end of the hall. I couldn't seem to reach the room fast enough; when at last the door was in front of me, I flung it open and stopped dead in the doorway.

"Ben." I breathed, my eyes filling with tears.