Allegiance | Kylo Ren

LXXX

When Ben returned to our room that evening, he looked tired. I stood as he entered, abandoning the book I had been pretending to read while my thoughts wandered, exploring the events of the past few days.

"How did it go?" I watched him carefully.

He shrugged, running his fingers through his loose black curls and perching on the edge of the bed. I sat beside him, resting my chin on his shoulder.

"My mother trusts me, but it's very clear that nobody else does." He threw me a sideways glance.

"Did you expect them to?" I gave a small smile. "It's going to be a while before they see Ben and not Kylo Ren."

"No, I didn't expect them to trust me right away." He sounded resigned. "I just didn't think it would matter to me so much."

I turned my head so my temple was resting against his shoulder. "Give them time."

"They seem to trust you, though."

I shrugged. "I'm not entirely sure why—I haven't done much to gain their trust, and I'm not particularly impressive in any way. But I've been here before. They know me. Once they get to know you as well, they'll trust you too. And I'll be with you the whole time. When they see how much I trust you, maybe they'll catch on."

He pressed a soft kiss to the top of my head, saying nothing.

We sat in silence for a while, enjoying each other's presence. After a bit I turned and took a piece of his midnight-colored hair, weaving it into a loose braid. A slight smile graced his lips as my fingers worked, knowing exactly what I was doing. I tied it with an extra band I had around my wrist, letting it hang loosely behind his ear.

"You didn't braid your hair." He mused, his dark eyes wandering over my loose blonde waves.

I ran my fingers through my long locks uncomfortably, ruffling them. "I guess I thought it was time for something new. New home, new life, new appearance."

"It looks nice."

I smiled and pressed a kiss to his soft cheek. "Thank you. I'm thinking about cutting it all off, though. It's much too long."

He took a piece between two fingers and twirled it gently. "You'll look beautiful no matter what you do with it."

I gave him a funny smile. "You know, I've never thought of myself as particularly beautiful. I'm probably average at best."

Ben's dark eyes widened. "Average? Why do you put so much effort into making others see you as anything but special?"

I shrugged. "Because I'm not."

"You're being modest."

"I'm not." I chewed my lip. "I've never been anything but normal, which is okay. I don't need to be special."

He shifted so that he was facing me straight on, taking my face in his hands and gazing directly into my eyes. "Calia, how could you ever think that? You are by far the most special person I've ever met."

I closed my eyes for a heartbeat, his fingertips seeming to burn into my skin. "Maybe I'm just afraid that people will be disappointed when they realize I'm not as great as they imagine me to be." My voice came out as an unsteady whisper.

Ben looked pained for a second, his eyes searching mine as he fought to find something to say. After a heartbeat, he gave a heavy sigh and pressed his fingers against my temples.

It took me a moment to realize what he was doing, and before I could prepare myself in any way, I was thrown headfirst into an onslaught of memories.

I hated the way the doctors seemed to think that I needed their help. They held onto my arms as we made our way through the medical wing, with me fighting them every step.

Pain was rippling through my body, and I could feel hot blood streaming down my skin underneath my clothing. I was forced through a doorway at the end of a hallway, and had I not been in so much pain, I would have used more than physical force to get them off of me.

"Don't touch me!" I hissed, struggling to escape their grip. I was at last able to pull away from them, collapsing onto a hospital bed, my movements feeling groggy from blood loss.

The young doctor stepped back, looking frightened. "S-Sir Ren, it will be easier to judge the extent of your injuries if you removed y-your mask."

I glared at him. "No." I was suddenly exhausted, and I fell back against the pillow, my chest heaving with the effort of breathing.

The pathetic doctor mumbled something before beginning to remove my cloak, pulling up my base layer shirt and examining the wound. He asked for permission to take off my cloak completely, and I rolled my eyes, agreeing with exasperation clear in my voice.

The young doctor stepped forward again. "Sir, I-I'm afraid we must insist that we remove your mask, or we risk infection..." He stared at me anxiously.

I exhaled slowly, thoroughly irritated. I considered fighting them further, but instead, I pulled off my mask, squinting slightly against the flood of light. Blood was pounding in my ears, and I swore I could hear some incessant beeping noise. After a moment, the beeping stopped, and the doctors set to work silently. I bit the inside of my cheek to contain any signs of feeling the pain of their needles piercing my skin, letting my eyes wander the room.

At last I noticed another person in a bed next to me. She was staring silently at the ceiling, her face a ghostly white.

"Who is that?" I demanded, shoving the young doctor away. And why didn't I notice she was here sooner?

She glanced at me, fear apparent across her facial features. I eased myself into her mind, and almost wished I hadn't.

He's going to kill me he's going to kill me he's going to kill me he's—