Running Rogue

Chapter:10 Wow, talk about low self-esteem.

Not edited.

UM. IT GETS GROSS AT SOME PARTS BUT ALL WITH GOOD REASON.

A/N: Sorry it took so long for the update I just... I don't know. This part of the story is getting tricky to write because well I don't know my audience well and there's an underlying plot but I'm not sure if people are picking up on it. Hint: focus on her thought process and how sometimes they get lost, bedtime is very important also.

 oh and this chapter was dedicated to the author of Wildfire, which is a great lupus story. check it out. It's one of my favorites and I hope to write as good as her one day.

Alright Enjoy,  please VOTE AND COMMENT.

btw thanks for 5 reads and 2 votes, maybe a comment this time?

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Today, I woke up and I realized how much my life sucks. I am antisocial and I occasionally come off as creepy and annoying, plus I'm being stalked by a cult of supernatural beings. These thoughts didn't exactly put me in the best of moods.

The day just kept better. I stubbed my toe against the edge of my bed and then stepped on a Lego in the dark. I don't even have siblings. How the hell did a friggin Lego get in my room?!?!

Seriously why?

I don't even babysit.

Sometimes I wonder if I should just put an end to this pathetic gig I call life. Ok that was a little extreme. Half of these depressing thoughts were coming from the item causing me hell in my desk draw. A failed math test. Ok. Not really, well I did recently fail a math test but my grief had past. I usually failed them anyway.

I asked my mother if I could get checked for bi-polar disorder and she said no. Then she said that these crazy ideas were coming because I wasn't studying enough.

If anyone should be getting checked I think it's her. She drives me insane. There are so many things that need to be fixed, for instance this whole werewolf things I have gotten myself tangled in. I need to extricate myself from it. I pondered the idea of just pretending nothing happened or hitting myself with a heavy object to give myself temporary amnesia.

These thoughts are generally frowned upon in society so I asked for medical attention, she said no and taunted me about it. It gave her some sort of pleasure I could see it, she felt dominant over me and she was. And I hated it. I hated her. More than before.

I didn't want to be fickle or anything but I didn't fell like doing anything today. Or tomorrow, or ever. I hate my mother for my existence. I never asked to be brought into the world in fact I wish I hadn't been. Then Jason wouldn't have a flag over his head, well actually he probably still would. At least I wouldn't have to face my math teacher every time he handed me a paper with A big fat obnoxious glaring 'F' on it. This helped my self esteem a lot. Note the sarcasm.

I guess I technically had a boyfriend that I should have broken up with a long time ago. Did I mention he was a werewolf? Or maybe that half the people in my town wanted to kill him. But the biggest problems I have are with my inability to make decisions, one minute I'm all for my choice with support and all and then I realize how ridiculously stupid my choice is.

How did any of this even happen. For goodness sake I used to go to church.

Nothing makes sense. I broke up with Jason my supposed werewolf mate. Even though I'm not a werewolf. The only problem with our break up is that it was one sided. I may or may not have avoided telling him. Well at least like a multicellular brained person.