Barack Obama x William Shakespeare

Chapter 3: THAT'S MY TOILET ROLL! (Barack)

(Raccoon)

I walk through the automatic doors and take a stroll through the lingerie section.

I pull up my hood.

A lilac colour push up bra catches my eye. I am only an A cup, but I feel a certain connection to this particular bra. I shove it in my basket, and grab a t-shirt to cover it up.

No one must know.

No one.

Not after Charlotte.

But I'm not here for bras. My one mission. Toilet Roll.

I begin to walk quickly towards the toiletries section. I see it the toilet roll. An eight pack, just what I need.

I walk faster and faster, it's all happening so fast, my heart is beating.

I come to a quick halt and stand before the toilet paper.

The holy paper.

My hand reaches out to grab it...

Suddenly, I feel the hand of another touch mine. The persons soft, velvety touch. My heart begins to pounce out of my chest, my palms begin to sweat.

But neither of us immediately retract out hands, for almost twenty full seconds our hands touch.

When we do eventually retract we both take of our hoods.

What the squiddly diddly doodle?

Is that... William Shakespeare?

The expression spread across his face says. Is that Barack Obama?

It's only now I realise my face is bright red.

I look like a hot potato.

"Erm...". I say worriedly.

"Wherefore might not but our hands embrace?" He says.

"What?"

"I'll tryeth and speaketh thy language," He replies as he clears his throat. "Why are you touchin' my f****n' hand you gay bitch!"

"Look, look, erm... there's no need for erm... this conflict,".

But there was it was the last toilet roll in the store.

"How about we erm... both buy it together?" I suggest.

"Fine, we shalt doth yond," He replies.

I don't know what it was about Shakespeare. But every time I was near him. I couldn't control myself. Maybe it was time to forget Charlotte and move on to something different.

Maybe he'll even except my bra...