Douchette // l.h

eleven.

It had been three weeks since I had last talked to Luke. He had moved to a different desk and table in Pre-Calculus and Photography. I almost felt deprived of him. Luke refused to even look at me. Which is understandable after what I told him. Truth is I don't hate him. Luke held a special place in my heart that was hard to explain.

I shook my head to help clear my thoughts. I needed a distraction. I rolled off my bed and slipped on my black Vans. I decided to go grab Sammie and Calum some Starbucks since they've been working on a huge Physics project at Sammie's house for the past few hours. I walked into my bathroom to check my appearance. My long-sleeved black crop top was slightly off center so I pulled on it to straighten it out. I tugged up my dark blue skinny jeans, holes slit across the knees. I ran my fingers through the tousled waves in my hair.

After determining I looked well enough to be seen out in public, I walked downstairs. My mom was sprawled on the couch in an oversized gray t-shirt and random bird pajama pants watching The Bachelor.

"I'm gonna go out, okay?" I called out into the dark living room.

"Alright not too late. Do you need a ride?" My mom momentarily glanced at me before directing her attention back to the addictive tv.

"No I think I'll be alright." I responded before walking out of the house. The sky was gray and looked like it was about to rain. It took about five minutes to walk to the Starbucks. The door jingled as I walked in.

"What can I get for you?" The barista asked me. The man was short with ginger hair. Freckles coated his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. The small shop was empty besides a teenage girl in the corner on her laptop.

"Can I get three grande caramel frappuccinos?" The man nodded while writing the order on the plastic cups.

"Is that all?" I nodded and he gave the total of the drinks. I opened my Starbucks app and scanned my phone. "Those will be out right away."

It took about five minutes before I was on my way to Sammie's house. I sipped on my frappuccino before I excited the small shop. It was about a ten minute walk to her house. By the time I arrived at her home, I was more than half way done with my drink. I knocked on the door and was greeted by her mom.

"Nicole! What're you doing here honey?"

"I brought some coffee for Sammie and Cal since they've been working on the project all day." I threw a smile in her direction, while lifting the drink tray up slightly.

"They should be upstairs." She returned the smile and let me in. I walked upstairs to the direction of her room. I've been in this house millions of times so I knew my way around. I opened the door to her room.

I could see Sammie on top of Calum, Calum's hand placed firmly on her bum. They jumped away from each other and stared at me in shock. What the actual fuck? I was speechless. My best friend and boyfriend were just making out.

"Nicole! What're you doing here?" Sammie asked out of breath.

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. I looked down at the drink tray I was holding. My hands were shaking.

"Nicole I'm so sorry!" Calum hurried to where I was. His fingers burned in my skin and I jumped away from him.

"Don't touch me Cal." I choked out. I wanted to wash his touch off of me. I pushed the drinks into his chest and bolted down the stairs.

I heard my name yelled behind me, but I didn't dare look back. The tears burned as they escaped down my cheeks. I don't understand. Am I not a good enough girlfriend? Was there something I did wrong? Questions and insecurities flooded my thoughts. I had no idea how long I was running but I felt my legs give out and myself fall down onto my knees. I hadn't even noticed that it started raining until my clothes were already drenched.

Maybe I could float away with this storm. It'd be better than this endless hell I seemed to live in. I wiped my tears away with the back of my sleeve only to have it replaced by more tears. I took in my surroundings. I could see the park down the sidewalk. I gathered my strength and pushed myself up. I walked to the grass field near the park. I stopped at a large tree, my back sliding against the trunk. I could feel the bark tearing against my skin of my back due to the crop riding up. The pain somehow brought relief.

"Nicole?" The familiar deep voice filled my ears.

"Leave me alone Luke." I croaked out, not even looking up.

"Babe what's wrong?" His hand fell on my shoulder and I automatically flinched away. I can feel myself slightly hyperventilating. I wrapped my arms around myself.

"Please don't." I finally looked up at him. His hair was matted down from the constant pour of the rain. I could see the worry shining in his eyes. He had on a black leather jacket, black t-shirt, and matching black skinny jeans.

"Did someone hurt you?" Luke voiced out his thoughts. He kept his distance, afraid I'd flinch again maybe? I choked out another sob. Yes. I wanted to say. Calum broke me. "Did Calum touch you?"

"He cheated." I could barely manage say. Was I overacting? I probably looked pathetic in his eyes. No wonder why Calum did what he did. I was the problem. I was what was wrong.

"That fucking prick." Luke snapped. "I'm gonna beat the shit out of him."

"It was because of me." I muffled out. "I wasn't good enough for him. I'll never be enough."

"Don't you dare say that. Listen to me Nicole." His fingers graced my face, tilting my head to look at him. His fingers were ice cold against my skin and sent shivers down my body. "You're too good for him. For anyone actually."

"No I'm not. I'm worthless... and insecure... and ugly... and a douchette." I sniffed and felt the tears  cloud my vision. "How can I expect anyone to like me? I can't even-"

"I like you Nicole!" Luke cut me off. "And if what you need is reassurance, then I'll give that to you. I like you. If all you need is a friend, I'll be that for you. God I'll do anything for you because you deserve the world."

I was stunned at the words falling from his lips. I stared at him in shock as he continued.

"And you're not a douchette. You're compassionate and beautiful and I don't understand how I ever got so lucky to meet someone like you in my life."

I don't know if it was my hormones or what Luke was saying, but I leaned forward and connected our lips. It was as if Luke's kiss provided me protection and strength to fight all the negative thoughts I had about myself. His lip ring was cold against my lips and had me gasping for more.

"Luke please." I wasn't sure what I was asking for. I just wanted him to shield me from the world. His lips pressed against mine once more. His mouth worked against mine slowly, his hands finding my hips. He pulled away, his forehead pressed against mine.

"Should I take you home?" Luke asked after moments of relaxing into each other's touch.

"No I-" I shook my head quickly. "I don't think I'm ready yet."

"It's okay love. You can stay at my place tonight." Luke grabbed ahold of the bottom my thighs, lifting me up.

"I can walk."

"I know." Luke smiled at me, continuing to carry me down the sidewalk. I returned the smile, hiding my face into his shoulder. My eyes grew heavy from the excessive amount of crying. I could feel my heart tighten in my chest. I just wanted to drift away from reality, so that's what I did.

a/n: nicole and luke? or nicole and calum?