I Think I'm Gay for you (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 8

*Jake's POV*

Remembering that Alex said that we should date other people, I couldn't get mad when he started dating Jenna.

I told Michael I wasn't interested in him. He told me that it was fine. I think he wasn't mad but he was a bit down about it. I would feel worst if I actually had sex with him though.

I felt my hand shake as I raised the cigarette to my mouth. I took it from my dad's car. My dad doesn't smoke but his girlfriend does does.

I know my dad has a girlfriend but I'm not sure if mom knows.

I just saw the cigarette and I thought that it might calm me like it does. I take a breath in and release it like the stress I feel... It just disappears a bit more with every smoke I take.

It's cold today. November just reminds me how broken my family is, we act normal for Jackie and Nathan but not so much for me. I could take care of myself and my parents know that.

Nathan is about a year younger than me, and we used to be close but I think I just scare him now. Nathan is just a scared kid, I feel bad for him.

And my precious Jackie, she's always happy. She is one of those little kids that just loves her family, it would really hurt me if she knew that dad is cheating.

As for me.... I've always been weird. I was really quiet until I met Alex. I looked at everything as if it would kill me. I have an anxiety disorder that eats at me. My mind is like the sky, it has so many clouds, you see either the clouds or the blue. When I'm with Alex it's like sunset, many colors but with my family it's like night, its dark.

I never really talk, that's why when I found out about sign language I thought it was awesome that you can communicate without talking.

I took a puff of my cigarette and released it. I like the smell of the air.

I got up and headed home. I left school early today when I saw Jenna kiss Alex. I just couldn't take any more of it. I ran to the walking track that was miles long and smoked.

I love this track. Its near the sewer river and train track runs above it, forming a couple bridges. (The walking tracks are next to the river and on the other side of the river there is a train station. There is a bridge over the water, and walking track that the train goes over. Like half a mile up the trail there is another bridge, but its for walking and cars). There is art on all of the walls of the bridges. No one really goes here, probably because of the smell.

I like the smell. But I always see homeless people walking around. This place is really nice though.

I stepped on the cigarette and started to run. I love the feeling of running it's like out-smarting the world, using gravity to your advantage, or like feeling a force that you need to follow.

When I was in my neighborhood, I saw Alex's house and stopped for a couple seconds, then jogged across my lawn to my front door. I entered to see my mom sitting on the couch, crying. Her face buried in her hands.

"Mom?" I questioned.

She quickly wiped her tears and looked up to me smiling, her nose red and runny, her cheeks pink, and her eyes teary.

"I'm... Fine." She said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Your father and I.... We're getting a divorce." She said quickly.

"Oh." I said unsurprised.

"Don't tell your brother and sister.... not yet." She said.

"So, what's going to happen?" I asked.