Flamingo'd: Filthy Frankx Reader

A Little Something For Jess

  

   Hi Jess! I'm Author-San, but you can just call me Chupy! A little bird told me you had been going through a tough time because you lost someone important to you. I'm sorry to hear that.

But the tiny middle finger also told me you really like my crap fanfiction, so here's something that might make you happy, even for a little bit.

Also this story has a little hint of what is to come in the FFx Reader story, just letting you know.

-****-

   Jess stood by the place Frank had promised to meet her up at. She looked at her watch, tapping her foot. The first date they'd be going on, and already this sack of biff-dangle was fifteen minutes late! Just when she was going to call Frank or furiously text him, he saw him, or he was sure he did. He saw a man in a ghost costume, sprinting with a watermelon in one hand and a baguette in the other, being chased by a large group of black gentlemen.

   He yelled a random phrase of Japanese as he passed her. She sighed and started running, catching up to him. She grabbed his hand went into a crowd of people to throw them off, and then onto some random sandwich shop.

    "Did you use the subway again Frank?" Jess asked, catching her breath quickly.

"It isn't my fault those guys look so shady, they practically blend in with the shadows!"

Jess rolled her eyes at the borderline racist comment, assuming it was just a joke. Probably wasn't, but let's just hope okay?

   "Well seems we can't go back to the restaurant," she said," want to find somewhere else?"

"Bae, do you know where you are? This is the U-S of Ass! Follow me, we can get a meal for free if you look in the right places."

  The next thing Jess knew, the two of them were in the back alley of a nice restaurant, unlocking the chain keeping the dumpster closed. At this moment Jess really wanted to hit Frank somewhere sensitive with a kubaton.

    But when Frank was finally able to crack the dumpster open, revealing what could be considered a five course meal, stuff to make a salad. Perfectly intact, barely touched shellfish, and still cold sodie pops. Frank pulled out some paper plates, loading them up with food, and popping a candle bottle to make the whole thing romantic.

   
     Frank handed Jess a plate, who was at this point dumbfounded by the sudden free meal. Frank shrugged, pouring a butter sauce all over his lobster tail as he shrugged his shoulders mumbling something about the US massive food waste problem and freeing the nipple.

   Jess began going at her quite delicious meal, glad that it was free, and that she was doing it with Frank.

  "Frank, listen, I know I always say I hate you and kick you in the balls, but... I'm actually really glad we decided to do this-"

   But the moment was cut off by the restaurant's back door slamming open,"WHO THE FUCK- FRANK YOU SHIT HEAD NOT YOU AGAIN," standing there in front of them was a powerful looking, blonde, and very British man.

   "Is that- is that Gordon fucking Ramsay?" Jess asks, not knowing weather to be attracted, angry, or terrified at the chef old enough to be her dad.

      "Shut it Gordon, it's not like you were use it this food anyway!" Frank yells back, swiping a baguette at Gordon, who caught it and broke it in half.

   "I THREW IT OUT BECAUSE IT WAS FUCKING BLAND YOU COCK HEAD, NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE," Gordon fucking Ramsay began to chase the two with the half baguettes and very creative insults.

   "Zoinks Raggy! Rets get out of here!" Frank's, jumping into Jess's arms bridal style as they ran into the sunset being chased by Gordon fucking Ramsay.