You're a half- lycra half- human who has been living underground in a cavern for years, your only company being bat-squirrels and books.
He's one of the filthiest people in the history of filth, the living embodiment of what a person should not be.
...
You found yourself being smooshed between your best friend, and a Lycra amphibian. They were flirting, and this was making you uncomfortable.
You had been able to drag yourself out of the bed 5 in the morning, packing everything into your tiny suitcase to last your time on the water. But then T.j. barged in stuffing some camera equipment like a sausage.
Finally the ocean, and the big ass ship came into view. It was breathtaking how big it was? How did that float? Was that some sorcery? Or HWITCHES? Warlock? Druid? Bard? How do bards get their magic anyway? You'd look that up when you connect on ship's wifi. You guys park blocks away from the port. T.j. Gets everything out, and starts pushing you all to where you the loading station while texting away at her phone. You saw people getting onto the ship, and large crowd surrounding those people, taking pictures, and some crying. Huh these people were famous? You didn't recognize any of them. Geez a lot of people. You were getting nervous.
But T.j. pushed you along, did all the talking with getting your room, as she spoke to the front desk for check in, you looked around to already see a lot of people lounging around, talking, joking. They all looked really important, and what were you? You began to feel really nervous, pulling your flesh food down to look somewhat more normal, when suddenly T.j. put his hand on your shoulder.
"Hey it's alright F/n, these are people just like you. Now a lot of people know them, and that's why people think they're important, but what you have to do is just act as important, and you'll be fine," he said, giving an assuring smile.
"What kind of stupid fucking advice is that?" You ask," what if they ask what I do?"
"Nyeeeeeees!"
"Sal is right, make something up! Anyway here's you're room key, you're in room 419, me and this sexy guy will be on the deck above you, so.... Yeah. I'll see you at lunch I hope? They have a buffeeeeeeeet!"
With that, Tj and Salamander man vanished into thin air. You looked around and went to find your room, dragging your case behind. Wow, this ship was fancy! You got lost in admiring stuff so much you realized you had no idea where you were going.
Shit. You were lost. You saw a guy who seemed to work here, he was wearing a chef jacket, pondering something.
"Excuse me sir, do you know where the passenger lodges are?" You ask, he turns around, and you don't want to admit it, but with this guy's dirty blonde and deeply wrinkly face, he looked hot in the 'old enough to be my dad but I still would be okay getting a reach around from him' kind of way.
"Oh the rooms are... Third floor deck and below, can't miss it," he said. Oooo, English accent, a cherry on the cake, definitely would fuck him just to hear those groans.
You put your hand out to shake him, as you both do, you see no name tag on him, probably a more formal sort of chef,"Thank you mister...?"
"Um... Ramsay, Chef Ramsay, you... Don't know who I am?"
You freeze up, he was famous? You vaguely recognize that name, where was he from? Where was he from? Are you shaking his hand for too long?
"No, I... I don't recall."
"I see," he says, resting his hand on his chin, seeming amazed by not being known by someone," and... May I ask who you are?"
Donkey balls! What do you do? A part of you wants to makes sounds similar to a tiny dog, but you remember what Salamander had told.
"F-f/n l/n, professional orchestral typewriter."
"Professional.. What?"
"Yeah, I'd be surprised if you didn't know about me, I'm not even sure why I'm here myself," great, there's something you honestly have to say.
"Well um... Miss. L/n, nice to meet you, I hope I see you later," he says, you nod, getting the hoodie of you t-shirt sweater to hide your hair in shame as you strut away from the Chef to the elevator.
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~***~
You finally get to the room, fumbling with your key to open the door. At first you admire the room, a bit small, but comfy looking, as well as a nice view of the soon to be passing ocean. But then you notice the extra suitcase in the room. You freeze up, is this the wrong room? No, the room key card says 419, and this room is 419. But then you hear something. Or at least someone. In the bathroom, the shower blasting. You walk up to put your ear to the door, and you can make someone... Singing? I mean that's not surprising, it's a shower, people sing, come on, don't judge!
You hear the words of a familiar voice singing a melody.
"We fall again, we fall again... Ooooo, we fall again... We fall again..."
