You're a half- lycra half- human who has been living underground in a cavern for years, your only company being bat-squirrels and books.
He's one of the filthiest people in the history of filth, the living embodiment of what a person should not be.
...
"It's not like that," you explained as you typed by the pool. You had thought maybe the warm sun and some fruity drinks with Tj could help distract you and focus on getting down the beat, at this point you had perfected it, but you had to be sure! Gordon seemed so hopeful in you! So you chugged down a Bob Marley and continues to practice.
"So..you don't want to fuck him?" Tj asked, cladded in a skimpish bikini, trying to get a tan.
You sighed, putting the typewriter down and trying to get whatever sun you could on your Lycra covered body as you laid to sun bathe," Oh no, I want to tear every article of his clothing off of that body with my teeth, but... you know, he's thinking he can make me submit by having me apologize and beg for it!"
"So apologize and beg for it! Swallow your pride, then you get to swallow some of that hot diggity dick!" She said, pause to sip some colorful alcoholic drink.
"Tj that's like the fifth one, shouldn't you slow it down a bit?" You asked glancing over.
"You're right... I'm just nervous about tonight alright?"
"Does this have something to do with Mr. Ramsay?"
"Well... Yeah!"
"How do you know him anyway, he kind seems like a lot of people of people know him."
"A-are you serious-"
"Hello ladies," a McDonald's strawberry cream pie like voice said as the sun was suddenly blocked out from your view. You open your eyes to see Danny D in a thong, showing off his... Tool belt.
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"Ah, good afternoon Danny, need something?" Tj asks, as if there isn't an seven inch half chub showed off in her face.
"I actually wanted to ask you if you two wouldn't mind coming out with me and my wife to dinner tonight, the place Chef Ramsay is filming I believe, a double date of sorts?"
"You know Mr-" you were cut off by Tj's hand as she continued to converse with the well packing Brit.
"Ah yes, in fact F/n is doing a little performance there herself, meet there at say... 7:30?"
"Wonderful, cheers then, oh, and might I add," Danny said with a toothy grin and a win," you two look lovely in the bikinis."
As he walked away you continues to stare up at the umbrella above you as you realized once again, your face was covered in blood.
"Tj you have a napkin I could use or something you asked."
"Sure, was it just me or was he flirting wi-OH GREAT GOOGLE BOOGLE F/N," Tj yelled, jumping back in her chair at the sight of you.
"I knows there's a bit of blood but-" you then look down to see your arm, your bare, fleshy arms, and a stomach s/c complected, free of any lycra.
You stood up to look at you body, seeing the Lycra that had covered your whole body now took form in a bra and pantie looking garment. Your scalp not free, feeling the warm air around you.
You looked like a normal human.
But that didn't stop from making sounds similar to an aol modem.
"Ok F/n calm down, this could objectively be weirder!"
"H-h-howling?! I'm look like a freaky-fack now!"
"You look like a girl in a bikini, so hurtful, first of all. Second, your still have more covered up than me rot now, so there's an upside, you aren't naked at least, and third, if you think about it, this could be a good thing!"
"H-how?! How is this in any way-WANG-a good thing?"
"You said you wanted it to be Joji who cracks before you right?"
"Y-yeah, so?"
"Well," Tj said, smirking as she tilted her sunglasses down,"a lack of modesty has always been a good hammer."
