fugue // stucky

15. Scared

Steve doesn't come back. I'm left alone watching this fish eat people. Admittedly so, it is sort of frightening. I'm on dry land stories up and I find myself looking around for a shark.

I wait and wait. Two movies later and I realize he is probably sleeping. What if something happened to him? I flood over with panic. My hands start to shake and I rush to his bedroom door. I listen inside. Nothing. My eyes widen and I creak the door open.

Relieve washes over me like cold water. He's okay. He's laying on his bed, his back to me. I run a hand through my hair and pad over to him.

"Steve?" I whisper, testing to see if he's awake.

"Hm?" He hums. I sit on the opposite side of his bed.

"Is everything alright?" I mutter questioningly. I hear the sheets shift, but keep my back to him.

"I'm scared, Bucky," his voice is so small. Suddenly I'm twenty year old Bucky, comforting a sick and frail Steve. 1930s me comes running back.

I turn around and he's setting cross-legged, fiddling his fingers.

"Of what, buddy?" My voice is gentle.

"Of you," he admits.

Oh.

My world comes crashing down. Too many thoughts at once. Does he not want me? What is he scared of? He's scared of him. Of the man that lives inside of me. Of my past. He's scared of my future. A croak leaves my throat as I try to find something to say. It's too hot in here. Sweat starts forming a sticky film on my arms. I breath heavily. Steve doesn't want me. He's scared of me.

"Buck?" He asks and puts his hands on my shoulders. I push him off, shaking my head and standing up, turning towards the door.

"Buck! No! That's not what I meant!" He screams and I only pant harder. My chest hurts and I have to put my hands on either side of the door frame to stay up. My mind flashes back to my episode in my kitchen. How I blacked out for two days. I panic even more so and begin stumbling toward the exit.

"Buck," he yells as loud as he can, then runs in front of me. I stop, wide-eyed. My mind connected to his through this powerful gaze. I furrow my brows and he puts his hands on my shoulders, keeping me from going astray.

"Buck, that's not what I meant," he repeats and I only become more confused.

"I meant, I'm scared of the idea of you.. no.. I'm scared of how much you mean to me," he finishes and I swallow thickly, my breathing becoming completely shallow.

"Anything could happen to you at any moment, and I can't live with that. These people are after you, and I can't protect you from all of them. I can't live with the idea of you being hurt.. and.." He pauses, running a hand through his hair, "the person doing the most damage to you, is yourself-" his voice cracks. My mind covers in white as I remember.

"Seems nowadays that's who I need to protect you from."

His eyes are wild and I quickly pull him into a crushing hug. He sighs when he's in my arms.

"So I'm scared, Buck," he concludes, "I'm scared of what you'll do to you."

"I won't do anything," I admit and kiss his temple, "as long as you're here, I won't do anything."

"I don't know how to help you," I feel a wet splotch begin to form on my shirt, "I want to help you."

I pull away from him and look at his features. His eyes are red and puffy. I frown. They're bloodshot and watery. Streaks of tears channel down his cheeks and I brush them away with my human hand. His lips are puffy and quivering. I sigh and look back into his eyes.

He's not even blinking. I'm taken back to when he was small. Smaller than me. To when he needed me. That's the Steve I fell in love with. After seventy years that love didn't go away. I feel a fire in my chest as I dip my head down and become face to face with him. His eyes ignite with sparks. Pure electricity fills my world.

"Do you want this?" I whisper, my nose touching his. Oh, how bad I want him to want this.

"Yes," he breathes. His lips are bushing mine. That's all the validation I need. I mash our faces together in a heated kiss. He sighs through his nose and scrunches his hands in my unruly hair. Almost one hundred years of knowing each other, and I finally got the guts.

Everything about this is right. How soft his lips are.. the way they move against mine. His taste.. oh God, his taste. I can do this all day. My stomach is fluttering to the point I'm almost sick from it.. but it's addicting. He's addicting. I pull away quickly and cup his face violently with my hands. His cheeks squish up under my touch.

"You're fucking captivating," I grumble and slam our mouths back together. He stumbles backwards, even though he's the taller of us. His back hits the edge of the counter and he squeaks. I move my mouth hungrily, wanting more. Not wanting, needing.

"Buck," he groans, "pause."

I stop and pull away, finally taking a breath.

"Huh, America's super soldier can't even handle a heated kiss," I mutter, still not taking my hands off of his head. He smirks and I groan at how beautiful he looks. His hair is tousled from me running my fingers through it. His mouth is red and swollen, his pale cheeks flushed. His eyes are covered in awe. I bite my lip to keep myself from kissing him again.

"I can do more than you, Buck," he winks and puts his hands on the counter edge. I close my eyes, savoring the image. I wish I could take a picture with my phone. Fuck it.

I reach over on the counter and quickly press small buttons until I have the camera functioning. Since its dark, I click on the flash and snap a picture. Steve looks startled, not expecting the assault. I gaze at the picture. Even more red is in his cheeks. I throw my phone to the side and capture his lips with mine again.

This time, it's gentle. He sighs a long breath through his nose. I hum and pull away.

"Thank you for letting me kiss you," I blush and he chuckles.

"Thank you for kissing me."

I look over at him and smile, "you'd think after a hundred years I would've done it sooner."

"I agree," he hums and presses his lips to my cheek. I can't get enough of him.

"Would you like to sleep with me tonight, soldier?" He whispers against my ear. I shudder and groan in response.

He takes my hand and drags me along to his room. I don't know what I expected, but instead of taking his clothes off, he giggles and settles under the covers. I roll my eyes and follow suit.

"Got me excited for no reason," I mumble and he huffs.

"You can sleep on the couch, then," he pouts and I go to stand up.

"Wait, not really," he quickly says and I laugh, knowing he wouldn't let me leave.

"I have to go grab something, though," I explain and walk out.

---

GHEY DID IT THEY KISSED ONFG FINALLY FIFTEEN CHAPTERS LAYER THEY KISSED SKFJE
which in reality it's only been like a week in their time lol but whatever they kissed

also once again soz that the attached image isn't exactly what it would look like but yknow w/e also SURPRISE !!!!!! I WAS GONNA POST THIS TMRW BUT I COULDNT WAIT !!! SO DOUBLE UPDATE WOOOOO

things will only continue to get better 4 my boys I promise :,)