I Take It Back...

Chapter 16

12:42 A.M.

So for the most part this is how my life is going:

1. My ex-boyfriend just recently transferred to my high school

2. My friend that I kissed and don't know what to call our relationship just ended the relationship?

Yeah no...that doesn't make sense, but then again when the hell does life make sense?

Speaking of Kyle I still haven't told May, and I was planning on telling Evan, before he dropped the ball on me like that.

Honestly I don't know why I'm so worked up about Evan, I mean it's not like I saw it going anywhere or anything like that. We're two different people. Maybe I was lonely? Or I missed the attention? Maybe the feelings were a deep closed off realization that it wasn't really Evan I wanted...but Kyle?

Or maybe I don't want Kyle.

The point is I don't know what I want, I just don't want to feel so empty right now. Plus I love May, but this isn't something I want to talk about right now. If I don't understand my feelings what makes it that she will.

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I get ready for school today. Not just any type of ready, but a DAMN YOU LOOK GOOD type of ready. I'm very pleased with my sense of style today. It gives off a I know I'm amazing and you lucked out look. Maybe they'll both get the message.

I drive to school...may I say ON TIME, and so happen to find the perfect parking spot right by the school building! Today maybe a good day after all! Kyle and Evan could suck my figurative dick.

If this was a scene in a movie this would be when the protagonist in the story goes face first into a shit storm with a raincoat on, when in reality Hurricane Katrina is about to hit.

I walk towards my first class and although a faint sound I hear a couple giggling. Not just any couple giggling but Evan and Jessica. Their faces inches away from stealing a kiss from one another.

WHAT THE UTTER FU*!?

The confidence that I had been portraying suddenly melted onto the floor, and this reckoning feeling of a sense of void struck me. It was like I had been bitch slapped about fifty times. Now I know why he didn't want anything more than a friendship. The sense of void blows onto sadness and then just as one would suspect I was ready to sucker punch the first person I would see next. I felt enraged, betrayed, lied to! What kind of an asshole would do something like that to someone? Who gives off this sense of attraction just to retract their overall meaning to it in the first place?

I start heading to class, rushing through the herds of people. Where's May? I need to see her, and all will be okay. At least that's what I'm hoping for.

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I could not focus throughout classes today, plus I'm heavily dreading going to third period.

I don't think I could face him, and it's not due to the fear of crying, it's because I don't want to go to jail for first degree murder.

When the bell for third period begins, I slump my way to class.

He's back in his original seat, talking to Drew. Wow he's so oblivious to the fact that I would eventually find out about Jessica.

He looks up "Alexia...I don't see why I ever left this spot. There's something about this specific view I can't quite put my finger on it." Just then he extends his hand to my face and places his index finger gently on my nose. "Oh never mind, I guess I just did" he winks.

Wow, he has no remorse. Just great, didn't we just agree we would be friends? Or is this what friends do in Evan's eyes? I swear maybe it's all those chain messages I never forwarded. I cant even count how many years of bad luck I'm supposed to have.

And I don't think it's going to end any time soon. I look to the side forcing Evan to move his finger off my nose and my eyes quickly dart to the figure standing at the door with a note.

"You have to be freaking kidding me." I put my head on my desk. Today had started off so perfectly...why is this happening?

"Hey what's wrong?" Evan whispers in my ear?

Oh nothing you know just my ex boyfriend standing at the door, hoping just to collect the attendance sheet, but I doubt it's that. Also that you're secretly dating Jessica again and tried hiding it from me, but hey it's okay because we're friends!

Instead, I don't say any of that. I lift my hand and point to the door.

"Who is tha-oh..." He straightens himself up. "Dude forget about him. He's a dick."

And what would that make you Evan?

"Oh sure...I'll just forget about the fact that my ex-boyfriend is standing at the door with a note which would probably suggest he's transferring into our math class?"

"Isn't her a senior?" Evan asks

"Yeah...oh yeah. I forgot. Maybe he's just here to pick up something." The weight on my shoulder lifts.

"Good Morning Class-Oh hello may I help you?" Mrs. Scott looks puzzled.

"Yeah sorry...I'm your TA." Satan spawn utters in response.

"Oh Lovely I've been requesting one for quite a while ummm...ahh Kyle Mathews."

"Yippy" I make a snarky remark while rolling my eyes, and Evan snorts loudly.

Kyle looks around and his eyes meet mine and move onto Evan and he quietly mouths a faint little "Fu*k."

I look at Evan who is devilishly smirking at Kyle. Almost as if he's taunting him just by sitting next to me.

I raise my hand " May I use the restroom please?"

"Oh...yes Alexia. Grab the hall pass please." Mrs. Scott says

I go directly to the girls restroom and stare at the mirror.

"It's okay Alexia. It is totally okay that two arrogant sons of b*tches are in the same class as you."

"So you talk to yourself now Alexia?" A snarky little giggle comes from the queen bitch herself.

I turn around and Jessica walks out of the restroom stall towards the sink to wash her hands.

"Look I don't feel like dealing with you today Jessica."

"Oh I'm sorry Alexia...did I do something to hurt you?"

A smile starts to form "Oh wait...Evan told you about us didn't he?"

I don't respond

"Didn't he?" She laughs "Guess not. Wow you weren't even worth that. I figured. I mean what did you think was going to happen between you two? That he'd somehow actually want to be with you...especially when he can have me?"

"Jessica I'm not feeling very well, and you're really starting to piss me off. Just shut up and leave."

"I'm not finished yet, just know that I'm the girl that gets the guy, and well you're the girl hopelessly too self-indulged in your little stories about the girl actually getting the guy. And the reality of it...is that life isn't like that."

"You know what...I'll leave! Thanks for the insight Jessica old pal!"

She gets in my way "Don't cry Alexia. It's okay. I mean it's not Evans fault he wanted to take on a charity case. He's just so nice like that."

You ever do something you should have thought twice about. Like not letting your emotions get the best of you. Yeah well this was that moment and I said to hell with thinking twice.

"Oh my God I told you to Shut up already!" Without thinking I punched her in the face and walked out of the restroom.

Oops.