phan oneshots (book two)

I always keep my promises

"You'll have fun," PJ repeats as I told him for the last time that this is gonna be a tragedy. Maybe because this "YouTube party" will surely be full of old friends and I'm not in the mood for interacting with them, or maybe because I checked my ex boyfriend's Twitter and he'll be there too.

Me and Phil broke up months ago and I still didn't get over it, I miss him so much. Living alone is such a sad and painful thing. And the fact than it's Phil's fault is weird because I don't know what I did for deserve a break up after five years of relationship.

I force a smile and PJ opens the door, as we enter some people look at us and I already feel embarrassed. My social anxiety is worsened, maybe because before Phil was the one who stayed up all the night whispering me cute things, and now that I'm alone I feel so fucking bad that I rarely sleep.

I know that a break up is stupid and I shouldn't feel like that, but I grown up with Phil and I wanted to grow old with him too, forever together.

He said.

"Dan, PJ!" Felix yells excited when he sees us.

"Hello!" PJ answers smiling, I just smile. He puts a hand on my shoulder and I raise an eyebrow.

"So you just arrived."

"Yeah," this time I answer.

"Have fun, see you later," he smiles going away.

"You really suck at interacting," PJ giggles.

"I know," I answer and smile. Really, I would love to have fun but the fact that Phil is surely here makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't want to make him understand weird things, like the fact that I'm happy when I'm not.

He should understood that, I stopped with YouTube and everything else because of him.

We go next to the buffet and PJ takes some things, I'm not even that hungry but looking at this long table full of delicious food is enough. So I decide to take something too.

I see people who have cocktails in their hands and I want one too. I'm not an alcoholic, I never drank so much and I don't want to.

It will not help me anyways.

"Dan!" Tyler Oakley yells from the behind. I recognize his voice immediately, how couldn't you?

"Tyler," I smile. Tyler is one of the persons who helped me and I'm thankful he did, he's such an amazing friend.

"How are you?" he asks and I bite my lip.

"As always."

Tyler raises his eyebrow and continues to talk. "I've seen Phil."

"Fuck, where?"

"Not here don't worry," he smiles. "I talked with him, too."

"What did he tell you?"

"That he was okay."

"Of course he is," I roll my eyes. Why didn't he suffer because of this? What have I done?

"Don't think about it," he says.

"I've lost PJ," I change the subject and I start to look around. Tyler does it too.

"I think he went away with someone," he adds.

"Maybe," fantastic. Now I'm alone.