Psycho Of Love

chapter 28

- what the hell was happening ?! Why are they all turning into dust and what does " welcome back " means ?!

- what am i gonna do ?!

- it is about 5:00 pm now and i am hungry ..

- does sam feel the same right now ?! Is he hungry and can't find food to eat .. how can i eat and he is at streets can't even have money .. i am not hungry anymore .. i can't eat ..

- the question that i am always asking myself is
Will he really come back oneday?

- i don't think he will even remember me ..

- after i woke up .. i went to the bathroom and i took a shower then i went to lay on my bed and stare at the walls ... i am bored again ... what can i do .. i will never go to that night club again.

- so what else ?! Should i go to the park ? Yeah that is a nice idea ..

- i took out another black short shorts and black short nike
T-shirt and i took me black shoes then i took my ipod and i got my hair onto a pony tail and finally i went out .. no no i didn't take the car ... i feel bored while driving

- i started running to the park .. the way had reminded me of mum .. dad .. mum used to sit in that restaurant and dad used to go and hang out with mr.jerry and they used to walk in this street ... i remember how i used to run with mum everymorning in this street ... i remember everything .. pains and laughs were inside me ..

- finally i arrived at the park .. it is a wide park .. it had alot of children .. happy with their parents .. every child is laughing and running here and there .. if only i could be happy like that .. but how can i be happy and the one that i need theost is far far away from me ... i don't even know where is sam right now ..

- i wish i could be more lucky ..

- after about three hourse of watching happy children with hopeless eyes ... after about three hourse of sadness and pain inside .. i decided to go home back .. i thought being in the park will help me to be happy but .. no it brought much sadness.

- after walking alone for about an hour i reached home ... i got out my keys and i entered the house .

- i got out pasta and i boiled it then i made soup and green salad and i ate then i went to sleep .. yeah i sleep alot but don't you think that sleeping for along of time is a side effect of depression .. yeah it is .. i am really depressed ..

- now i have money and i have everythinv except one thing ... yeah a thing that i can't buy with money .. it is happeness ..

- i woke up and my phone had a notification .. it is a facebook messege ... from thomas .. that guys from high school .. he was asking about sam .. and he thought that he moved but no ..

" hey ! Sylvia i hope you still remember me .. i am thomas from high school .. do you know where is sam ?! "

" wow thomas .. what a long time ... i saw sam few days ago and he is alright " i texted back refusing to tell him where is sam ... i don't wanna say that he is homeless because maybe .. sam doesn't want anybody to know ..

" aha and where is he .. i went to his house it was locked " he texted back

" he travelled since two days with his parents to another country "

" oh really ! "

" yup " i texted back

" okay .. tell me how are you ? "

" i am fine .. what about you ? "

" i am alright .. with who do you live now ?! Are you and sam married ? "

" married :O no no ofcourse .. he went away and he told me he will be back soon .. i live alone now .."

" okay "

- after we finished talking i logged out in order not to let him ask me again about sam .. and then i looked at the time it was about 11:00 pm .. time is passing slowly ..

- i logged into my youtube and i started to search about how not to be bored .. then i found a vedio showing a website called omegle .. that website seemed nice and i wanna try it .

- i entered that website and i started to talk with so many strangers .. that was nice ..

- but some guys were such dirty and have such a dirty mind ..

- so after about an hour on omegle i went to bed .. i was so tired .. maybe tired of bein alone and maybe tired of being sad ..

- i feel like wherever i go .. death comes with me ..

- why me just why ?!

- sleeping is the only way that i can spend my time easily .

- i hope i won't wake up again .. i am done with this stupid life ...

- i miss every happy moment in my life ..

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