Heal My Heart

T h i r t y - F o u r : S c o t t

A/N: Comment & Vote
Pic: Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

"I used to be so confident. So...sure of myself. But I don't even know who I've become."

Dr. Robtoy looked at me. "You've changed a lot Scott. For the better."

I stared at him. "I dislocated his jaw."

Dr. Robtoy nodded his head. "Blind actions caused by intense emotion. While I'm sorry you did such I'm happy to see you feeling so passionately about something that doesn't have to do with Danny. For the better and the worse."

"What do you mean?"

"When Danny first died you saw me three days a week. You had been cutting that down dramatically as of late and I'm glad to see you're back."

"I'm sure the extra money is nice."

Dr. Robtoy just laughed. "Always so sarcastic. Where is Puppy?"

"In the truck. Normally I let him stay home but it's too hot for anyone to be outside so I gave everyone the day off. And Puppy can't be alone."

"Can't or doesn't want to be?"

"He'd hurt himself. He's just not...capable."

"And this goes back to the whole Daddy thing."

I shifted uncomfortably. "I don't want to talk about that," I retorted flatly.

"It's not an option. You know that I'm more than comfortable pushing you outside your comfort zone. And this is the core of it all! I've watched you come into here for the past three weeks and I think I have a good understanding of what happened."

"So why do you need me exactly?" I challenged. "So what do I do?"

A knock interrupted us. "I'm in session." Dr. Robtoy spoke sternly to his sub and secretary, a pretty young brunette.

She opened the door however. "I know Sir. It's a Puppy--looking for Scott?" She smiled warily at me.

A bit concerned I leaned forward. It had been just over five minutes. I'd left him with my cellphone and had been streaming some cartoon he liked. Puppy peeked around the door, tears dripping down his cheeks. "What's wrong?"

I stood opening the door completely.

Puppy held out my cellphone. It's screen was shattered to an almost in recognizable point. I took it from him, swiping it away aggressively. He winced and Dr. Robtoy spoke.

"I'm sure it was just an accident Scott. Calm down."

I ignored him. "What the fuck happened to the case?"

I'd intentionally bought one of the very expensive cases that protected against falls and water damage. However the chunky black case was gone. I turned the phone over in my hand. The back of it was shattered too.

"I-I..." He faltered twisting his hands together. "I'm sorry!"

"Sorry? You're sorry? Sorry doesn't fix an eight hundred dollar phone Puppy! Why did you take the fucking case off? How did you take case off?"

I was shouting. In the back of my mind I knew I needed to calm down and hear him out but right now I was so angry. Puppy just gaped at me, looking confused.

Right--I was speaking to fast. "How am I supposed to fix this Puppy? That's sixteen hundred dollars in cellphones of mine that you've destroyed."

"Scott."

I looked at Dr. Robtoy. "What?"

"I need you to step back from the situation. I can see you're overwhelmed by emotions right now and that's how you end up doing something you regret."

My jaw clenched. "I took it off cos the charger had to go in."

"It was fully charged. It didn't need to be plugged in."

The longest eight seconds of my life spanned put while he took time to understand my words. "Oh." He finally said.

I grabbed his arm to shake some sense into him and Robty grabbed my wrist. His eyes bore into me. "Take a walk."

I let out a growl of frustration and in my haste to abandon the situation pushed Puppy into the doorframe as I stormed past him. The secretary sunk away from me as I went to the front door.

I sat in my truck and stared down at the disassembled phone case. The ballistic plastic was in the cup holder and the thick rubber cover was on the dash. The car charger was snaked along the center panel.

I could just leave him here.

I was instantly sickened by my own thoughts and tilted my head back as I took a few deep calming breathes. "Calm down Scott," I muttered to myself. "You love him."

And I did love him. There was no doubt in my mind that I loved him. He was kind, sweet, and dedicated. And smart enough to take off a case it took a professional to put on.

I took a deep breath.

I spent a solid fifteen minutes sitting there until I finally trusted myself to go back in there. The secretary looked at me. "He's in session," she squeaked.

"With who?"

"Uhm Puppy?"

The door opened at that moment as Robtoy led Puppy into the waiting area. The two were grinning which made me more upset than it should have. "What were you doing?"

"Talking," Dr. Robtoy replied pleasantly. "Come talk to me. Selena keep an eye on Puppy yes?"

She nodded her head and smiled at Puppy. He gave me a wary look however. "I'm really sorry Scott."

"I know you are."

Robtoy closed the door behind me. "Speaking with Puppy really made this situation clear for me."

"What did you talk about?"

"This and that." He replied vaguely. "I don't see Puppy being someone who requires a full time 'caretaker'. In fact my understanding is that before you, he was very self sufficient. He has common sense. And good intentions."

"So what changed?"

"He was devastated when Connor?" I nodded my head. "Connor rejected him. He blames himself completely. He's unintentionally trying to be as different as possible."

"Okay?"

"When you first got him you senses his fragility. You noticed that he needed more support. And when you gave it to him you set a precedent into motion where Puppy feels the need to be completely dependent on you. It's his way of staying relevant in your relationship which lessens the chances of you 'getting rid of him'."

"So it's my fault then?"

"Of course not! His emotionally dependency, once unearthed, only got worst--and will continue to unless it's addressed in a way to satisfy that need."

"I don't...understand."

"Okay uh..." He went to his desk and passed me a piece of laminated paper. It was a pyramid entitled 'Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs'. "This is what many professionals consider to be development of each individual."

I looked it over. "So?"

"So by Puppy's age he should be much higher than he is."

"So where is he?"

"Safety. I don't imagine him to be completely insufficient in this area but he hasn't achieved high enough to really hit Love and Belonging. And until he does, you're going to have Puppy caught in the state he is. He can and will get better Scott. You just need to help him."

"So?"

"So meet with the couple Scott. I think that the set up they modeled could do wonders for both of you. Now, my four o'clock is going to be here any minute now. I can't wait to check in with you on Tuesday."

I took a deep breath.

He was a professional right?

QOTC: How are you guys feeling about the plot now there's a beginning of resolution occurring?