Heal My Heart

T w e n t y - T h r e e : S c o t t

A/N: Comment & Vote

Jesus.

I had been expecting it to come up but I was still stunned that it had. Puppy looked up at me with hooded eyes and a lustful face.

I pulled back and sat across from him. Puppy sat up too, nibbling on his thumb the way my nephew would when he was nervous.

Jesus Christ. I can't do it. He was just a kid to me eighty percent of the time. He had his moments of maturity but they were the heated ones, where his pretty mouth could utter dirty words and request filthy pleasure.

He's eighteen.

But he wasn't. Physically he was eighteen but mentally...who knows. "S-Scott?"

I sighed. "Puppy," I began carefully. "It's a really big step."

"I-I know. But Bailey says it feels really good when his Master puts it inside him. May-maybe we can just  do that?"

Hell no. He didn't even understand the terminology much less the mechanics. "How about we just do what we always do?"

"B-but we only touch ourselves," he protested.

It was true. Over the pants was one thing but I couldn't touch his penis and I couldn't let him touch mine. The mutual masturbation was sufficient for the both of us.

We were satisfied and he stayed innocent while I didn't feel creepy.

Win-win.

"That's right. Doesn't it feel good?"

I even had to break it down like I was talking to a kid. Fuck. Puppy cocked his head. "Well yeah but it'd feel way better if you could touch me?"

I couldn't though. My morals stood in the way. "You're just too little Puppy."

He looked upset after he processed my words. "I'm not little. I'm eighteen! That's big enough."

Like a kid trying to convince you to let them watch an R-rated film. My own erection was gone at this point and I shook my head. "I'm not arguing Puppy. Why don't you go finish up in your room."

He began to cry which broke my heart but I couldn't comfort him. I had to hold strong. He left the room eventually and I fell back against the pillows. I felt like a piece of shit.

But I just trying to protect him. He didn't need to be corrupted. Sex wasn't necessary. Monks and nuns spent their entire lives without it! How could this be different? I got up feeling a bit disgusted with myself.

He was just a kid.

Even though he technically wasn't, I'd forever consider him one. I went to the living room to have a beer. Puppy shuffled down wearing his frog pajamas. The shame returned full force. "Do you still love me Scott?" He asked softly.

I put on a smile. "With all of my heart Puppy. Now it's late. Goodnight."

He held up his arms. "Hug?"

I got up, hugging him tightly. As I withdrew he leaned forward for a kiss. I avoided his mouth, kissing his forehead. I saw the hurt in his eyes. "Goodnight Puppy."

"'Night Scott..."

***

"You're distracted."

I grunted in confirmation as I picked up the spilled grain. My toss had been far away from the pile and it'd hit the grave and split open.

"What's up?" Kyle leaned against the truck.

I sighed and looked at him. "I can't have sex with Puppy."

"Really? Why?"

I turned to gesture to my sub who was currently lying in the grass in the field laughing at only God knows what. "He's just a kid!"

"His license says eighteen doesn't it? Think they were lying?"

"No. Nothing like that. It's just... He had the mind and behavior of a kid. And I'm just...not attracted to him when he's like that?"

"Does he ever act his age?"

I nodded my head. "Sometimes. And its times like that I just want to ravish him but..."

Kyle wiped away some sweat as Puppy began to barrel roll toward the small slope. He looked unbelievably adorable and ridiculous. I looked toward Kyle for help. He shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you. Bailey was always pretty mature--except when it comes to his whining but he shapes up really well. I thought you were working on it?"

"I am--or was." I sighed. "I take away toys they find their way back. I hid stuffed animals, he bawls until I give them back."

"Don't be so easy on him then. If you're taking something away then as your sub he needs to respect and accept that. You're not being unreasonable he just needs to grow up."

I sighed. "I know. Trust me. But...he never had a childhood Kyle. He didn't get plushies and pjs and toys. He never had fun. He's just trying to get that part of his life. I feel shitty taking it away from him."

Kyle shrugged. "That's your call Scott. But if it's seriously bothering you this much, say something."

Puppy ran passed us, skidding a bit in the gravel. "Slow down before you hurt yourself!" I called.

Puppy was already gone of course.

Kyle just began tossing grain.

QOTC: does Puppy need to grow up or does Scott need to accommodate?

QOTC (2): Do you guys want frequent short updates or less frequent long ones?