Heal My Heart

S i x t y - F i v e : P u p p y

A/N: Comment & Vote!

"I'm sore." I rolled over to face Scott. "But in a good way."

"Understandable," he replied with a smile. "We had quite the night."

"Yeah," I laid my head against his chest and he stroked my hair. "You feel good. Inside me, I mean."

"Why thank you," he laughed. "You're not too bad yourself."

"Can I be inside you?"

Scott looked startled. "Uh--no."

"Why not?"

"Because you bottom and I top." He replied in a matter-of-fact tone. "That's just how it works."

"Maybe I could try?"

"I'd rather you didn't."

"It doesn't hurt too much! And-and I'm really little compared to you so it probably won't hurt at all!"

"The answer is still no, silly boy. Why don't you go take a shower and I'll join you shortly."

I sighed in defeat. "Alright."

I rolled out of the tangle of sheets and looked down at Scott. The only thing hiding his lower half was the sheet tucked under his hip. He was propped up on the pillow, looking at his phone.

He was so handsome.

"Scott?"

He looked over the top of his phone. "Yes?"

"Am-am I handsome?"

He smiled. "You're very handsome. In fact, you're the most handsome boy I've ever seen."

My face felt hot and I smiled. "Okay."

"I love you Puppy."

"I love you too Scott."

***

Scott did join me in the shower but we didn't make love.

Afterward he took me to my room and helped me get dressed. He sat on the bed. "We had a good night right?"

"Yes."

"That's what adults do Puppy. They make love. Are you ready to be an adult now?"

"I am an adult?"

"I mean getting rid of all your Little things."

I felt not-so-good. "But Scott--"

"Puppy it's very important to me that we start moving past this stage of your life. I think you've had plenty of time--don't you?"

I crossed my arms and shook my head. "No. You said you'd support me."

"And I have been supporting you quite a while now. I just think that it would be...appropriate for this too continue."

"I-I don't understand."

His phone began to ring and he pulled it out of his pocket. He looked at it and smiled at me. "Put that on." he asked, pointing to my shirt and pants. "Come downstairs when you're dressed."

He closed the door behind him and I sat heavily for a minute. It was like Scott hated me suddenly. And I thought last night was special. And that he accepted me.

Now my feelings were hurt.

I sat down by the train tracks, towel draped over my shoulder. Tears gathered in my eyes as I moved the wooden figures from the train station onto the passenger cars. I sniffled and hit the switch to its first setting.

The little street light glowed yellow and music tinkered from it. The tracks lit up and the wheels locked onto the track.

I clicked it to the second and the announcer spoke: "All aboard!"

I pushed it to the last setting the train began to roll along the track. I sat back against the bed and hugged my knees as watched it go around and around.

The door opened at little while later. I knew it was Scott without looking. "What the hell Puppy? You were supposed to get dressed and come downstairs."

"I don't want to. I want alone time."

"What? Oh--because I told you it was time to get rid of the toys? Puppy--you need to grow up. You want to move on with our relationship don't you? To get married and adopt a child? The first step is getting rid of all this shit!"

"It's not shit. I like it."

"Puppy you're eighteen--not eight."

"Well I wish I was eight then!" I snapped angrily.

Tears ran down my cheeks. Scott had never hurt my feelings like this. Not even when he hit me and said he owned me. At least then he was angry and I could tell myself he didn't mean. What the hurt was knowing that this was exactly how he felt.

I drew in a shuddering breath and hid my sobs in my knees. "Jesus H Puppy--don't pull this. Not after last night. What we did was beautiful. What adults do. And if you want to do it again--"

"Why does it always have to be a choice? It's always this or that--why can't both ever be an option?"

"Because that's not how the world works. Now get up and come help me with your outside chores."

"No."

He looked astonished. "I thought you were done with this behavior Puppy."

"I thought you loved. I guess we both told fibs."

***

Scott left me alone for the afternoon and well into the night.

I was furious with him--but my hunger drove me to find him. He watching TV, drinking out a can. He looked at me when I entered. "What do you want?" He asked tiredly.

"I haven't eaten yet today."

"So go make yourself some oatmeal." He looked back at the TV.

"Where--"

"Look in the cupboards Puppy. It's not rocket science. This is my alone time, in case you've forgotten."

I swallowed hard and then stepped toward him. Scott flicked off the TV and faced me. "Did you not hear me?"

I stood directly in front of him and tried not too look afraid as I held eye contact with him. "Puppy--"

I kissed him hard, throwing my arms around his neck. Scott went still and I pulled back and started to kiss his cheek. "Make love to me again?"

He grabbed my arms and I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, however, he pulled back away from me. "I can't Puppy. Not like this. Go eat your food and go to bed."

"Oh."

I felt rejected and hurt as I back away. Scott looked at me. "I feel like whenever we take one step forward, you push us two steps back."

Tears filled my eyes. The images before me swam. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Me too. Goodnight Puppy."

QOTC: Was it fair of Scott to ask that?