Heal My Heart

E i g h t y - O n e : S c o t t

A/N: Don't hate me! Comment & Vote

"This has to stop."

David rolled his eyes and set the champagne glass aside. "Oh really?"

I sat up, disgusted with myself all over again. I threw my legs over the side of the bed and pulled on my pants. "What are you doing?"

"I can't do this anymore. I don't even know what this is."

"Its you finally giving up control. And you like it." David replied pleasantly. "Now I'll ask again--Thai or sushi?"

"Neither. I'm leaving."

"No you're not. You do this every time. We have a great time and then you get cold feet." David knelt on the bed behind me. His hands fell on my bare shoulders. "You can run back home to your little sub all your problems soon enough--but enjoy yourself first."

I shook his hand off my shoulder and stood. "I'm getting married David."

"Of course you are. I'm not stopping you."

I got up to grab my shirt from where it was draped over the door to the closet. "Does your sub know his Dom is another man's bitch?"

I swung around and grabbed Brune. I slammed him against the wall with my hand on his throat as my chest heaved in anger. "Oh we are proud," he sneered. "What are you going to do?"

I pulled my arm back but faltered. His knee met my stomach harshly. I gasped and curled up on myself. "Fuck!"

Brune pushed me hard. I hit the mattress and he fell over me. One hand fell on my throat and he rested his knee lightly on crotch. Aware of my vulnerable position I clenched my jaw but my kept mouth shut.

"You know the difference between you and me Scotty?" He breathed in my ear. "Where you won't." The weight of his knee increased. I kissed in pain. "I will."

He stood abruptly and walked to the door pulling it open. "Go if you want to. I'm not going to force you."

I propped myself up on my elbows, inhaling raggedly. Brune crossed his arms. "Well? My sub is going to be back from the salon in an hour anyway."

I got up and brushed past him. "Uh--"

Brune waited expectantly. "Bailey has migraines as of late."

"He can take some Advil. They make a kind especially for migraines but be careful he follows the dosage exactly. He's forgetful."

"I will."

***

"You're back!"

I paused as I pulled the butter from the bag. I had expected Charlie to be asleep--it was almost midnight. My stop at the grocery store had been to make sure of that. "I am. You're still up?"

"Yeah... It's hard to sleep without you."

Guilt tunneled deep. "Let me finish up in here and take a shower and then we'll go to sleep. Why don't you go lay down?"

"I'll put away the groceries." He offered instantly. "So we can go to bed sooner."

"Okay. Great."

I brushed past him aware I was sending mixed signals. I didn't intend to I was just so preoccupied with everything going on. I pushed open the bathroom door without bothering to knock.

Bailey turned with a toothbrush in hand. "Shit--sorry."

"'S'Kay mm done," he mumbled.

It was weird listening to him speak without his intricate clarity. He had prided himself on his education and the way he spoke. Now he had trouble speaking.

"The doctor said you can come see me for Advil when you get your migraines."

He didn't look at me. "Okay."

It took me so long to build Charlie up that the idea of having to rebuild Bailey was daunting and discouraging. "Have a good night."

"'Anks," he mumbled in return.

I didn't use the en-suite because I knew there was a less a chance of Charlie joining me. Our wedding date was just around the corner--I needed to tell him.

Or did I?

This kind of secret was serious. I knew how I'd feel if Charlie ever cheated on me... And here I was, doing it to him.

I dried off and wrapped a towel around my waist. Charlie was sitting with his legs crossed on the bed, doing something on his tablet. He beamed at me as I went to the closet. "I'm sure you're tired but will you look at these napkins? I think we should get them for the wedding."

"Napkins? Is that part of your decoration plan?"

"Of course it is!" He cried.

I stepped into some underwear and threw on a tee. "Let's see." I sighed, laying across the bed.

He presented the tablet. "Lavender." I said. "Huh."

"You don't like it." He took it back with a frown.

"It's not that it's just a bit...frou-frou for my taste?"

"Oh. Alright--so you don't like mauve?"

"I like it. It's all perfectly fine Charlie--"

"I don't want fine. It needs to be perfect!"

"Alright alright." I was suddenly exhausted. "What about, like, black?"

"Black?" Charlie choked out. "This isn't our funeral!"

"Okay. What about gray?"

Charlie perked up. "That's a good idea!"

He went back to typing away while I pulled back the covers and laid down. I was ready to go to bed. Charlie seemed to just be getting started.

"What about these?"

I glanced at the pale gray image. "Good. Love it."

"You hardly looked," he complained.

"I'm sorry Charlie. I'm just...tired. Can we do this tomorrow?"

Charlie hummed and then set the tablet on the side table and turned off his lamp. He laid beside me and kissed my shoulder. "You're away so much lately."

"I know Charlie. I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay. You're doing it for Bailey." His hand wrapped around mine. "I love you Scott."

"I love you too Charlie."

He fell into an easy sleep and I began to hate myself. I was going to tear this poor boy's heart out when he found out.

If he found out.

But he would. Secrets couldn't be kept from lovers--at least not for long. All I could do at this was try and maintain my lies and do damage control before Charlie found out.

Then I could cushion the blow.

My phone buzzed and I rolled over. Brune's name flashed up and my jaw tightened.

I had fun. Until next time.

Next time had become an expectation. Ever since the night at the bar. He had followed outside when I was waiting for the cab. He had...kissed me. And while it felt wrong it also had a forbidden thrill. The alcohol didn't help.

I had pushed him away but he damage had been done. He had something serious on me and I was just putty in his hands.

Charlie forgive me.

QOTC: Thoughts?