I'll just come clean here and now. I hate romance. I can't stand all the ridiculous lover scenarios, and cheesy romantic lines make me want to throw up. On that note, the main reason I hate romance is because they're usually written about bad couples.
Now, I don't mind romance mixed in with other genres. I can even like the couples--- IF THEY'RE DONE WELL. I'm rooting for Glenn and Maggie in The Walking Dead and I rooted for Aang and Katara in Avatar the Last Airbender (the T.V show, not that God-awful movie). That being said, most of the time I hate the couples, and it isn't always because they're in a crappy storyline.
Take for example, Buffy and Angel. Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel were both great shows. They both had awesome, badass main characters, and a cool, fun storyline. But when Buffy and Angel were together? Jesus Christ's heavenly toenail! They were so damn annoying! With the tears and the whining and the drama and ridiculousness, I was face-palming throughout their entire romance. Why? Because they fell into one of the three types of couples I hate the most, and here they are.
1. The Whiny Couple
Here's where Buffy and Angel fit in. A whiny couple does just that: whines. It could be for a number of different reasons. It's usually because of some weird-ass scenario that keeps them from being together, so what do they do? They whine and whine some more, maybe with a side of some melodrama. I mean really, usually the conversations end up like this:
*while crying and falling over the guy*
"Oh Antonio! Why must you leave so soon? If you leave my heart shall shatter and never be fixed!"
"I am so sorry my sweet Esmeralda! My beautiful lily-blossom, you keep a fire in my soul! But...(dramatically turns head) I must go. I have no choice!"
"Kiss me Antonio."
*has a ten minute make-out session*
Okay, with the names that might have been a bit racist. In my defense, the first soap opera I saw was a Spanish one. My grandma was watching it and I had nothing else to do. It's just the first thing that comes to mind. But anyway, yeah, it's that annoying.
2. The Sleazy Couple
These are the couples that viciously fall on top of each other every single time they're together. No joke, as soon as they can touch, it's a feel-up fest. "He grabbed the back of her head and kissed her fiercely. His hands went up her skirt and she unbuttoned his shirt. They slammed against the wall, blah, blah, blah." They're practically having sex standing up. Just take it to the bed and get it out of your system so I don't have to keep reading about it! By then, it doesn't even feel like love, just lust. And they don't even have a conversation beforehand. They start going at it as soon as they meet up. Spice it up a bit, hell even throw in a cheesy romantic line if that's what it takes. Why must they have a tongue war in every scene?
3. The Selfish Couple
Out of the three, this one pisses me off the most. You know when they just can't stop thinking about each other? Oh, Esmeralda's brother was in a car crash and went into a coma. But what about Antonio? How is he dealing with this? Why can't she just be in his arms right now? Never mind that her brother's in a coma or anything, she needs her ANTONIO! And then those "romantic lines", dear lord. "I will save you even if it meant destroying the world!" Really? Really? There's somewhere around 6 billion people here on this Earth, and you would sacrifice them all just so you could be with your love? That's not romantic! That is selfish! Here's what I have to say to those people: Go to the 9th floor of Hell. That's just plain ridiculous, and if it were ever up to that guy to save the world, we'd all be screwed.
And---like the scenario I put earlier---when the main character or whoever gets in a relationship, no one else matters any more. I mean these people had friends and family and a best friend, but then after they get a boyfriend/girlfriend? Nope. They can go to the 9th floor of Hell with the "save the world" guy apparently. Then they live happily ever after!
YOU ARE READING
Yes...Another Rant Book (OLD discontinued)
Random*This rant book is old and many of the chapters hold opinions that don't necessarily stand for me today. Read at your own risk and feel free to ask me about anything questionable! So yeah, the title says it all. This is yet another rant book to add...
