Yes...Another Rant Book (OLD discontinued)

Insane Fanbases

Holy hell, I don't even know where to begin. Between fandoms, fanboys/girls, and the teenaged masses at my school, I want to smash my head through a wall. "You haven't read Divergent? Oh my God you have to read it now!" "You haven't seen (insert overhyped movie here)? You are a menace to society!" "What do you mean you hated Twilight? Just read the books. The books are so much better!" For God's sake, maybe I'm just not interested! Maybe it wasn't my cup of tea. Maybe it just sucked. Newflash ladies and gentlemen, not everyone likes the same things. 

I haven't read Divergent because I'm not interested. End of story. I'll read whatever the hell I want to read whenever I feel like it. Same goes for movies, TV, and other assortments of entertainment. Now I get it. We get excited about something and just have to discuss it with someone. We've all had that feeling. But for the love of all that is good and holy in this world, not everyone will love it the way you do! And if you point out a flaw in any of these said forms of entertainment? Say good-bye to your head, because they'll bite it off. Even if there's something legitimately wrong with it, they'll just be all "oh well you just don't get it!" Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Thing is, you can't use that excuse for every issue that is pointed out. Then the conversation ends up like this:

Obsessed fan: "Bob likes pie."

Me: "But Bob said he didn't like pie earlier in the story. In fact, he said he hated it."

"No! Bob likes pie now. He always did. People change!"

"But it's a plot hole. He specifically said he hated pie and will never eat it again before."

"Well...you just don't get it!" 

Seriously? It's not just movies either. You know what's the absolute worst fanbase on the planet? (aside from some mentally ill Directioners here on wattpad) Beliebers. That's right. The Justin Beiber fanbase has to be from the deepest, darkest pit in Hell. It's almost like a joke from Satan. "Hehe, I'll send out some Beliebers just to drive the humans crazy." Holy flaming monkey testicles, these people will defend Beiber for a massacre! And God forbid you call him the spoiled, lame ass douchebag that he is. They'll jump you from the top of a building. It's unhealthy how obessed they are with this loser. "He was born on  this day at this time and the weather was exactly 77.69 degrees. He likes eating this food all the time and likes these kind of girls. He wipes his ass at approximately 8:30 p.m every Thursday."  I seriously think they need some professional help. 

A bit off topic, but there was no way I was sparing the Beliebers. But it's not just "mainstream" stuff (I swear, I'm not a hipster). Nerdy fanboys/girls go just as insane as any Belieber. If it's movie based off a comic book, they'll point out every little tiny issue: "Oh it wasn't like that in the comic book. They did something else in the comic book and it was better! The comic books were different." Shut the hell up! If you're gonna sit there and bitch about what the comic book did better, then go read the goddamn comic book! You obviously don't like the movie! Plus, it's an adaptation. Keyword: adaptation. It won't be just like the comic book. You know why? Comic books have "volumes" that span over a certain decade, written by a certain author (or authors). Then a few years later, that comic series will get picked up by another author or group of authors. It will also probably have spin-offs and extra storylines depending on how popular it is. Walking into a movie and expecting it to be exactly like the comic books is completely ridiculous! Granted, the adaptation can be a piece of monkey shit. I'm not saying it won't be ever, but sweet Jesus, settle down. 

But fanboys and girls do this thing. This thing. It's called "shipping". Most of you probably know what this is. Just in case you don't, "shipping" is when monkey-brained superfans decide that a couple of characters in a franchise should be together. That might sound harmless, but let me tell you it gets weird. At first it's just annoying. "Ermahgerd this guy and this girl should be together! (even though the franchise may have established a completely different couple). They always want this completely random couple to just be together regardless of what happens in the story. This kind of shipping is bothersome and pointless, but for the most part, innocent. Anyone seen Frozen? People are shipping Elsa and Jack Frost. Annoying, yet benign. Then there's the people who ship Anna and Elsa. Anna and Elsa. For those of you who haven't seen the movie, those two are sisters. That's when it starts to get scary. They get incestual, they get pornographic, or they just get downright disturbing. It really makes me wonder about people when they do things like that. 

So people go crazy. They bother everyone else. I'll bet 80% of the people who pick up on popular trends just do it because their friends were annoying the living shit out of them. And fanboys/girls and shippers...need I say more? Bottom line: do what you want to do. The fanbases can go back to Hell from which they came!