Yes...Another Rant Book (OLD discontinued)

Today's Music (and the radio)

   You know how when you go to the mall, they have those monitors playing music videos in the food court? It literally sounded like one giant song. I could not distinguish one song from another aside from the sound of the "artist's" voice. I hate how they still call these people artists, because they're not. This isn't music, this is noise, with a mediocre voice in the background.

    The usual formula for music: verse, chorus, new verse, chorus, bridge, and chorus. (order may vary)

    The formula for popular music today: chorus, chorus, chorus, two new words, chorus, and chorus.

   Yeah, and that's being generous. The "chorus" in today's music is two lines, TOPS. Then they say it over and over and over to the same, overused pop beat, slap the name of some washed out "artist" on it, and voila (I probably spelled that wrong)! Now we have a hit. It'll be number 1 on the top ten for about two seconds, and then the radio can overplay the hell out of it.

    These "songs" don't even have any lyrics! On the rare occasion that they do have lyrics, they usually make no sense. Then if the lyrics make sense, they're about some shallow crap that everyone's sang about ten thousand times. "Omigawd I'm so in love!" "Omigawd we broke up and you destroyed me" And don't even get me started on rap. "Bitches and hoes love me. Me so rich, I have money falling from my ass-cheeks. Strip clubs. I party, have sex, do drugs, and drink. Sometimes all of them at the same time! You was trippin' in  my *insert ridiculously expensive car brand here*. I'm so fly"

 Really? A five-year-old could write more meaningful lyrics than that. And people wonder why everyone hates our generation. Not to mention that half these people can't even sing. Any moron with autotune and someone else writing the song for them can get famous now. Half the time, they make one song, everyone loves it for five minutes, and then we never hear from them again. Then we all forget about them so another loser could take the stage for another five minutes.

   With all the terrible music getting vomited onto the top ten, there's always that one song, that one song. You know which one. It's that song that was made as a joke. The person who made it knows it's bad, the people who hear it know it's bad, and the song itself was just made to be a hunk of crap on a stick. Yet everyone loves it for some reason. What...the...hell? I mean seriously, "What Does the Fox Say?", on the top ten...are people that stupid? Even the people who like the song know it's terrible, so why do they keep listening to it?

   Now usually "artists", appear out of nowhere, make a crappy single, then drop off the face of the Earth. That's if we get lucky. But there's always a select few that people idolize, and they manage to sneak in another single onto the top ten. And guess what? Everyone loves them...again. We also get these clingy artists, who consistently make terrible music, but have their fame because of their merciless fan-base. This mainly applies to Justin Bieber though, and I may or may not have a whole separate rant just for him, because I hate that guy.

   On the rare occasion, very rare occasion mind you, that a good song gets popular, the radio just plays it over and over until I end up hating it anyway. They play the same seven songs about ten times in one hour. Then when you try to change the channel, that same song is playing on another station. But you're lucky you even caught them playing music, because after every song, there's ten hours of commercials, or the station saying their name in a ridiculous voice. Finally, if you manage to beat the commercials and the repeated songs, the radio hosts never shut the hell up! They talk on and on about random topics, trying way too hard to be funny or cool, and then never play any music! Not to mention they have to include commercials in their conversations. "Hey by the way, I just got this new cosmic lip gloss. It gives your lips polka-dots and makes kissing aliens even more out-of-this-world! Go buy it, and tell them MikkiMio sent you!" For the love of God, it makes me want to ram my head through a wall.

  What really annoys me is when I mention an artist that's actually good, and no one knows who the hell that is. "Oh, I like Daft Punk :D" "Who's that?" And rock music. Rock is amazing, and they play these things called instruments, but no one listens to it. Why not? I guess because Miley Cyrus isn't twerking all over it.

So the radio sucks, our popular music sucks, and the artists suck. Nice.