Dear Diary,
Today I decided to save Gerard from the evil Bert McCrappin. I snuck into his lair of bile and lard.
I jumped into Bert's room and scared him senseless. "I've McShat myself!" He exclaimed, running to the bathroom to clean up.
I heard Gerard call my name and I immediately ran to him. I picked Gerard up and gave him a sloppy kiss. He pushed me away. "Bryar Bob," he said, "I can't love you anymore."
"Why not?" I asked.
"My love belongs to another."
I got mad and McSlapped him in the face. He cried like a little bitch and I laughed.
Then, Frank Oreo flew through the window like a fucking lemur and picked Gerard up. He kicked me in the no-no zone and I fell. "You are a butt Bryar Bob!" He and Gerard made out and they flew away. Gerard's feather boa was left behind and I plan to add it to my shrine.
I like corn.
YOU ARE READING
i am bryar bob ➸ b.b
Fanficcorn child (this is a crack fic. read it if you want to laugh a lot.) (this is a collab with @doodlingdeath, go follow her.)
