Hello diary. I am in a very pissy mood right now because Bert Crackalackin helped Gerard escape from my Gerard shrine. Fortunately, I caught them before they could leave my property and now both Gerard and Bert are glued to my shrine.
When I got Gerard back, I tried to lick the corn kernels off of him. Bert responded with a solid right hook and a roundhouse kick to my face.
I, being the brave Bryar Bob, knocked them both down by chucking corn at their heads. Or should I say, shucked.
Bert McDabbin passed out in a pile of corn kernels. I McFapped to his unconscious body.
Unfortunately for me (and my dignity), he woke up. He screeched in my face, "I'm McTriggered!" He slipped on corn juice and knocked himself out. That's what you get for being a pussy, McFucker.
I now have them both superglued to my shrine.
I have to say it was a good day.
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i am bryar bob ➸ b.b
Fanfictioncorn child (this is a crack fic. read it if you want to laugh a lot.) (this is a collab with @doodlingdeath, go follow her.)
