Life In Gravity Falls

The Boyfriend - Part Two

"Dipper - get up! Norman is a zombie! I have proof!" you yell, jumping up onto his bed and shaking him awake.
"Wh . . . What are you taking about? What time is it?" Dipper yawns, and you yank him out of his bed and over to the camera.
"No time. Just watch." you hit play on the camera, and watch as Dipper's tired eyes go wide at this sudden realization.
"Oh my gosh. My sister's going to get her brain eaten by a zombie!" he looks at you. "We have to stop this."
You both run out of the room and down the stairs.
"How're we supposed to get there in time?" he asks frantically.
"There!" you point out the window at Wendy, who's in the parking lot getting out of the golf cart.
You run out of the shack, down the stairs, and across the parking lot. You skid to a stop in front of Wendy, causing Dipper to crash into you from behind. You stumble forward a few steps, but regain your balance quite quickly.
"Wendy - we need to borrow the cart. My sister's in danger!" Dipper pants, and there's a couple seconds of silence until finally Wendy tosses the keys to him.
"Try not to hit any pedestrians." she says.
You jump into the passenger seat of the cart. Dipper's still standing there with the keys in his hands, smiling slightly and watching Wendy walk away.
"Dipper. Dipper - come on! Fine, I'll drive then." you say angrily, snatching the keys out of Dippers hands and sliding over to the driver's seat. The motion seems to snap him out his daze.
"Aw, come on, I wanted to drive." he whines, jumping into the cart as you start the engine. You pull out of the parking space and head off down the trail.
"Well, you were too busy staring at Wendy." you mutter under your breath.
"What was that?" Dipper narrows his eyes at you.
"Nothing." you say as you take a sharp left turn, which almost throws Dipper out of the cart.
"Is there anything we can use as a weapon against this guy?" you ask as you take another sharp right.
"If I'm remembering correctly, Soos keeps an emergency kit in the trunk. I just have to reach it. . ." Dipper turns around in his seat, reaching for the handle on the trunk.
"Be careful!" you yelp after Dipper's foot slips off the side of the cart. He finally reaches the handle, opens the hatch, and pulls out a long rectangular box. He faces forward again in and places the box on his lap.
"Alright, let's see what we have here. A shovel - that could be useful. And a baseball bat, with a note that says . . . 'in case you see a piñata'? I guess it's still useful." Dipper shrugs.
"I see Mabel up ahead!" you call out suddenly, and slam your foot onto the breaks. "Oh my gosh - is she lying on the ground?" you squint to see better.
The cart finally comes to a complete stop, and you both jump out of it, leaving the engine running for a fast get-away. You grab the baseball bat while Dipper takes the shovel. As you approach Mabel, you see that she's tied to the ground with wire, and surrounded by . . . little bearded men?
"Y/n! Dipper!" Mabel gasps as you come into view. "Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes who want me as their queen! And they're total jerks!" she exclaims, kicking one in the face.
One of the gnomes walks up to you, looking both you and Dipper up and down. "Ooooh! Dibs on the pretty one with the h/c hair!" he says, grinning creepily.
It takes a moment for you to realize that he's taking about you.
"Shut up!" you yell, swinging your bat like a golf club and sending him soaring over the trees into the forest.
One of the other gnomes looks up. You assume he's their leader, because he's been barking orders to the others ever since you got there.
"Hello there! I'm Jeff. What brings you to this corner of the forest?" he asks.
"We're here to get Mabel back." Dipper snaps.
"I'm sorry, but I don't think I can let that happen. You see, Mabel's going to be our new queen." Jeff's cheery voice suddenly turns hostile. "And you'll have to go through us if you have a problem with that."
You look around to see that all of the gnomes are now staring at you with intimidating looks on their faces. They then start walking, then jogging, then full-on sprinting towards you.
You and Dipper swing your weapons, sending the gnomes soaring through the air. Dipper nails one in the stomach so hard that it crawls over to a tree and starts throwing up rainbows.
Finally, you make your way to Mabel and Dipper uses his shovel to cut her free.
"Thanks." she says gratefully, standing up and patting down her clothes.
"You're welcome, now back to the cart!" you say, and the three of you start sprinting across the clearing, hoping that none of the gnomes recover in time to chase you.
You jump into the driver's seat, and Dipper and Mabel jump in next to you. You take off in the other direction.
"Really? You couldn't have let me drive this time either?" Dipper crosses his arms.
"I think we have bigger problems then that!" you yell over the sound of the wind.
You adjust your review mirror, showing Dipper and Mabel the view of some sort of mega-gnome, which is running after the cart and pushing down trees as it goes.
"I didn't know they could do that." Mabel gapes.
"Neither did we." Dipper replies flatly, gripping his shovel tighter.
The mega-gnome then starts shooting regular-sized gnomes out of its hands. The smaller gnomes land on the cart and start climbing their way to the front. Dipper and Mabel are do their best to keep the creatures away from you, considering the fact that if you get hit, the entire vehicle will spin out of control.
Just then, a gnome jumps down from the roof and lands directly on your face.
"Ahhhhhhh!" you scream, trying to hold the wheel steady, but swerving anyway. Something then hits the gnome, causing it to go slack and fall off the edge of the cart. You glance over at Dipper, who's holding his shovel in the air with a terrified expression on his face.
"Are you okay?" he asks nervously.
"I - I think so." you say slowly, regaining control of the cart.
You suddenly realize that you're in the parking lot of the shack, barreling towards the building. You slam your foot onto the brakes. Nothing happens
"Hit the brakes!" Mabel screams.
"I am!" you shriek.
At the last second, before you make impact with the shack, you yank the wheel to the side with such force that the cart tips over.
"Ah!" you yelp as the three of you are thrown to the ground with such force that you roll a couple of feet before stopping.
"You have no where to go! Surrender!" Jeff laughs from somewhere above you.
You open your eyes and the world spins around you. You're lying face up on the pavement, staring bewildered at the mega-gnome that looms over you. Your head throbs, but you force yourself into a sitting position. Everything blurs.
"Alright." Mabel says, and her voice sounds like it's coming from far away. "I'll be your queen."
"No." you try to yell, but it comes out as barely a whisper.
Someone rushes to your side, and look up to see that it's Dipper. He has a long gash running from under his eye to the corner of his mouth.
"Mabel, you can't do this." he protests as he pulls you to your feet.
The spinning seems to have slowed down significantly, but you still lean on Dipper's shoulder so you don't fall over. You look around.
The three of you have been backed into a corner. Mabel stands before the mega-gnome, staring up at it with an unreadable expression on her face.
She looks over and makes eye contact with you for a split second, tipping her her head to the right, where you stand. It's such a small movement that you almost think you imagined it, but at the same time know that you didn't.
You glance behind you, and see Stan's rusty old leaf blower.
What on earth would she want with that? You don't entirely understand it, but know that Mabel wants you to get it to her, and undetected at that. As Jeff climbs down from his spot on the head of the mega-gnome, you take your weight off of Dipper's shoulder and take a small step backward.
You almost loose your balance, but fight to stay on your feet. After you've steadied yourself, you slowly lean over toward the leaf blower. As soon as your hands close around the handle, you take a small step forward again, hiding it from Jeff's view.
Your vision blurs again, and your headache pounds against the edges of your skull. You feel something wet dripping down your arm, but you ignore it.
"You've made the right decision, Mabel." Jeff's muffled voice says happily as he slips a ring onto Mabel's finger.
She smiles. "You may now kiss the bride."
Jeff looks surprised, then pleased. "Don't mind if I do," he says, leaning forward.
You take this as your cue, gathering up your remaining energy. You lunge forward and set the leaf blower's panel halfway to reverse.
Jeff's eyes pop open in shock, just as he's sucked into it.
"This is for lying to us!" Mabel says, taking the leaf blower from you.
"This is for breaking Mabel's heart!" Dipper shouts, running over and pulling the lever all the way to reverse.
"And this is for messing with y/n and Dipper!" Mabel screams, thrusting the lever into its forward position.
Jeff shoots out and goes soaring into the mega-gnome, causing them to explode and fly everywhere. The gnomes then fall to the ground and run into the forest.
Dipper pulls out his journal. "Gnomes. Weakness: Leaf blowers." he says satisfyingly, writing that down.
Mabel laughs, and you crack a smile, swaying on your feet.
"We should get you inside." Mabel tells you, and you notice that she and Dipper must be feeling exactly like you do right now. That cart crash really took a hit on all of you.
The three of you stumble into the shack and collapse onto the couch in the living room.
Dipper looks over at you, and his eyes go wide. "Oh my gosh, y/n, you're bleeding!" he points to your arm.
You reach over to touch your elbow, and your hand comes away red. "Oh." is all you can think to say.
About an hour later, once everyone's gotten cleaned up and the nausea has gone away, Stan walks into the kitchen. He takes note of all the bandages and band-aids, and raises his eyebrows at you.
"Woa - you guys look like you got hit by a bus. What happened?" he asks, studying your bruises and cuts.
"Oh, yeah. That reminds me." You say smiling guiltily.  "You may want to get a new golf cart."