Life In Gravity Falls

Headhunters - Part Two

Mabel spent the next couple of hours working on the sculpture of Stan. When she finished, she called you, Dipper, and Soos in to give her your opinion.
"I think it's really good," you say, and Dipper and Soos nod.
"What do you think of it, Mabel?" Dipper asks.
Mabel takes a couple of seconds to think. "I think...it needs more glitter."
"Agreed." Soos grabs a bucket full of pink sparkles and hands it to Mabel. She grabs it by the handles and swings it upward, pouring the entire bucket onto the sculpture.
Stan walks in, finally wearing pants. "I found my pants, but now i'm missing my - woa." He stops mid-sentence to stare at Mabel's artwork.
"What do you think?" she asks hopefully.
Stan smiles. "I think the wax museum is back in business!"
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The next day, you're sitting at the ticket booth with Wendy and Dipper, while Soos and Mabel are up onstage with Stan. You look out over the crowd, and see that not a single seat is empty.
"I can't believe this many people showed up." Wendy says in amazement.
"I honestly wouldn't be surprised if Stan bribed half of them." Dipper chuckles.
"He bribed me," you grin and hold up a crisp $5 bill. Wendy and Dipper do the same, and the three of you laugh.
"Attention everyone!" Grunkle Stan announces from his podium. "You know me as the man who brings you many wonders and beffudelments. But enough about me. Introducing: me!" he walks over and yanks the sheet off of the newly carved wax figure. The crowd oos and ahhs.
"And now, Mabel will tell you about her art." Stan hands the mic to Mabel.
"Hello everybody!" she exclaims. "This art piece right here is covered with my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids." she says, proudly, while the audience gags. "I will now take questions."
She points to a man in the audience wearing suspenders and a hat, who stands up. "Toby Determined here. How do you think that this wax museum will benefit the town and environment?"
Stan takes the mic from Mabel and says, "Toby, your microphone is a turkey baster."
Toby looks down. "It certainly is..."
He's cut off by another reporter, who stands up. "Shawndra Hermenez, a real reporter." she glares at Toby for a second, but then turns her attention back to Stan and holds up a bright pink piece of paper. "You're flyers say that there's free pizza at this event. Is this true?"
Stan pauses then says quickly, "That was a typo." he sprints back to the Mystery Shack and disappears inside.
The crowd gets to their feel angrily, storming out of the parking lot. Some, like Manly Dan, run around punching everything in sight, while others, like Toby, walk off in an angry silence.
You, Wendy and Dipper run inside aswell, before you can be ambushed by the angry mob.
Mabel and Soos come in a couple minutes after you, Mabel with twigs and leaves in her hair and Soos with half of one sleeve ripped.
Mabel smiles. "I think that went well."
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That night  you, Dipper and Mabel are watching movies in the living room with wax stan propped up against the couch.
Stan walks in from the kitchen. "Alright kids, it's getting late and we have a big day tomorrow at the shack, so you should start getting ready for bed." he says and sits down on the couch.
"Awwww, fine." Mabel grumbles, and the three of you trudge upstairs.
You all change and then go into the bathroom to brush your teeth.
"Hey guys, do you wanna do a tooth brush race?"
Mabel asks, pulling the tooth paste out of a drawer.
"Yeah sur-" Dipper starts, but is cut off by a scream coming from downstairs. Mabel drops the toothpaste, smearing some on Dipper's shirt, while you jump backwards and hit your head on the towel rack.
"Ow," you mutter, rubbing the bump that you still have from the Gideon accident.
"What was that? Grunkle Stan?!" Mabel calls out.
"Kids! Get down here! Quick!" Stan shouts frantically.
The three of you run downstairs and into the living room.
"What's wrong?!" you ask.
Stan looks pale, and he struggles to get the next words out. "Wax stan...he's...he's been...murdered!" he points to the ground, where a headless wax stan lies.
"My artwork!" Mabel exclaims, and dramatically faints, falling back into your and Dipper's arms.
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About 15 minutes later the police show up, but after looking around for less than three minutes, the short and chubby one turns to Stan and says, "Yup. This case is insolvable."
"What?!" Dipper looks up, obviously shocked. "How is that possible? Arn't there clues, suspects, motives? I could help, you know..." he reaches up and rubs the back of his neck nervously.
"Yeah!" Mabel exclaims. "And y/n too! They're really good! They even figured out who was eating all our tin cans!"
"All signs pointed to the goat." you say seriously.
"Yeah, let them help." Stan says, ruffling your hair with his hand. "They've got brains up in their little heads."
The two police officers look at each other and laugh.
"Ooo, city kids think that they're gonna solve a mystery with their fancy computer phones!" the tall one mocks.
"You two are adorable!" the short one teases.
"Adorable?!" you say, enraged, but are cut off by the walkie-talkies that are attached to the men's waist.
"Attention all units. Steve is going to try and fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth, I repeat, an entire cantaloupe."
The police officers smile.
"It's a twenty-three fourteen!" the skinny one exclaims. They then run out of the house, shoving you and Dipper aside in the process.
"You know what we're gonna do? We're gonna solve this mystery, then were gonna shove it in their dumb faces just like Steve is going to do with that cantaloupe." you say, suddenly determined.
"Yeah." Dipper nods. "Then we'll see who's adorable."
Suddenly Dippers face scrunches up. "Ah-ah-ah-chie!" he sneezes, small and high pitched.
"Awww!" Mabel grins, "You sneeze like a kitten!"
You and Dipper turn to glare at her.