A Different Reality (Lasting Love)

It's all Over?

"What the hell are you doing?!?" Justin walks out of our room, sleepily, and apparently pissed.

"I'm trying to find the freaking spatula!" I yell back, confused about everything here "I can't find anything in this house!"

"Well maybe if you put the shit away like you said you would." He starts opening and slamming cupboards to help "Some of us don't have to get up for work for another hour!"

"Well I'm sorry your lazy ass couldn't help put this stuff away!" I finally find the spatula, but see that the eggs are burnt, so I throw them away "You didn't help me organize anything!  We should've never built the house. Maybe if we bought it 2 years ago when you would have actually helped we'd be able to find things."

"Maybe if you didn't talk me into building this house I would've helped more!  I helped build this place!  The least you could do is put things away." He gets his food slamming it on the table "I have a job!  An important one that takes up some of my time.  Sorry I can't be here doing random things all the time!"

"And you think I have the time for it?!?" I slam the fridge door to piss him off "I'm busy too!  I work!  I'm on set all the time.  I actually try to make time though!  Maybe you should try that."

"You know what?" He gets up, practically throwing his bowl in the sink and walking upstairs "Fuck you and your fucking perfect house!  All this fighting is because you just HAD to have this!  Look where we are now!" I hear him walk into our bathroom and turn the shower on.

"I need in there!" I yell up to him, not expecting an answer anyway.

"Well tough shit!" He yells back "Next time don't wake me so early!"

Great. This was all supposed to be a happy time in our lives; a time to spend together and go on adventures before starting the family we want, but instead all it consists of is constant fights.  We can't even agree on the same freaking place to eat for lunch when we wanna try to talk things over.  Just as our lives should be getting better, they seem to be falling apart.  I thought we would be happy and celebrating everything, but the past few months have been the completely opposite.  I found out that FRIENDS is definitely my big break, but instead of feeling relieved and happy, I found myself more worried about how it's going to impact our relationship.  His writing career has taken off as well, and while we couldn't be happier for each other, we've also gotten used to hating each other's jobs.  I'm always filming, and he's always either in his office writing or on set editing.  We see each other long enough to fight, hopefully get over it, and then hope we don't hate each other again in the morning.  The man I once loved more than life itself is slowly becoming a huge burden on my life.

20 minutes later, after a quick shower, we're both ready to leave the house.

"Can we go to lunch or something?" I practically beg as he walks out "We need to talk about this."

"I don't have time today." He gets in his car speeding away.  I stand next to my car, watching until I can't see his anymore.

"Guess that won't work." I mumble to myself as I back out of the driveway. Trying to keep myself calm, I drive to work thinking of the good things in my life.  Like when we get along and sit on the couch or lay in bed for hours watching movies and talking, when we have free time off and get to go on different vacations together and explore new places.  All the things that keep our marriage hanging on.

I make it to set to see everyone sitting around.  Instead of joining them, I decide to go to my dressing room until it called for hair and make up. I talk to Court and Lisa for a while when we're sitting there, but their happiness makes me a little jealous, and it eventually turns into the two of them talking.  After listening to them, we finally get called to start filming.

This episode is more focused on Monica, so I don't have to do too much other than sit around when I'm needed.  I have a few lines, which I have surprisingly remembered, and after that I sit to the side with Matt watching everyone else film.

"You okay?" Courteney walks up to me after filming "You aren't yourself recently."

"I don't know, Court." I let myself fall onto the couch "I don't know how much longer I can do this."

"Do what?" She asks, genuinely concerned "What's wrong, Jen?  You know you can tell me."

"That's the thing," I get out before crying "I should be talking to Justin about all of this, but I can't."

"You two are still fighting?"

"We haven't stopped, Court.  I don't know what to do anymore.  He's not the man I married.  We don't even look at each other the same anymore and it's ruining us.  I miss my best friend." I continue to cry as I explain everything to her "I miss talking to him about anything and having him reassure me that we'll be okay."

"Jen, look here." She looks into my eyes "You two will make it through this.  You guys are married, there's going to be fights, you're going to hate each other, but there's going to be so many more times when you love each other even more.  There's so much for the two of you to do yet.  You're made for each other.  Otherwise you wouldn't have made it this far."

"You really think that?" I try my best to believe her "It's just hard for me to think of what we can be like."

"I know you two are going to make it." She reassures me "You defied the odds off staying together throughout and after high school, made it through the struggling actors stage, and now, it's probably just all the renovation stress.  Well, and work, but you two can get over that.  You just need to figure out what works best for your marriage.  Not what other people tell you."

"Thanks," I pull myself together "We'll have to try to work this out later.  We have the weekend off." 

I walk off set and get in my car to drive home.

"Justin!" I walk into the house, throwing my purse on the table "You home?" I don't hear him, so I walk to his office, and see him sitting at his desk looking at scripts.

"You okay?" I walk in sitting on the couch "You want dinner or something?"

"I'm fine," He replies, much calmer than earlier "Just tired... of things."

"Of us?" I ask weakly, not wanting to know the answer.

"What?" He turns around to look at me with sorrow eyes "Of course not! Look, I'm sorry about earlier.  I've just been busy with everything and I let all the stress get to me."

"I know," I reply, feeling sorry myself "I am too.  We need to work on this, though.  I don't know how many more dumb arguments I can take." I walk over to him wrapping my arms around his neck "I miss my best friend."

"He'll always be here," He looks up at me smiling, and leans in to kiss me "I just need you to promise that you'll try to be more understanding of how tired and busy I am from work."

"Okay." I lean in to kiss him again "But I need you to promise to try to make more time for us.  We gotta work on everything together."

"Deal," He picks me up "Let's go make dinner."