A Different Reality (Lasting Love)

Sleep Deprivation

"Mommy!  Ben up!"  Kayleigh yells jumping into bed next to me.  Justin pulls her closer to him and gets her to lay down.  She doesn't like this and starts to complain to him.

"I don't hear any crying." He tells her "I think he's still asleep."

"No, daddy."  She says trying to get away "He up!"

"Kayleigh, lay down."  Justin puts her between us so she can't get away.  He rolls over so that he's facing us, and looks beyond exhausted.  He's probably been awake with Ben, which is why I actually got some sleep.

"Daddy swepy." Kay whispers to me so she doesn't wake him. 

"I know, honey."  I pull her closer to me so she isn't bothering him "That's why you need to let him sleep.  You need to sleep too. It's still dark out."

"Ni ni?" She asks.

"Yeah." I kiss her forehead and cuddle with her.

Luckily, after letting her use me as a pillow, she falls asleep.  She spreads her legs across the bed, resting her feet on Justin's face.  He is too tired from staying up with them all night to even notice.  The only bad thing is her head is heavy and is laying right on my chest.

"Jen, wake up."  Justin stands beside the bed holding Ben "He's hungry."

I sit up, pushing Kay off of me and laying her on the bed.  Justin hands me Ben, and I start to feed him right away. 

"How long was she awake last night?" I ask Justin noticing that he seems very tired.  He's about to fall asleep standing up.

"At least from 12 to 3."  He answers sleepily "He was awake about 5 times.  I finally just layed on the chair in his room so you would be able to sleep.  She slept with me until I came back to bed."

"Oh well thanks.  You can go back to sleep if you want.  I'll stay up with him."  I start to walk out of the room.

I hold Bentley close to me, still feeding him and walk downstairs so we won't wake Justin or Kayleigh.  He looks up at me as he eats, his eyes getting huge, completely making up for the fact that it's only 7 am and he's digging his tiny, sharp nails into my skin right now.

"You are so lucky you're cute."  I pick him up kissing his forehead after he's done eating.  He starts to laugh and I tickle him for a while keeping him entertained.  Hearing my kids laugh is the best sound in the whole world. 

I put him in his little swing to keep him occupied while I make my coffee and breakfast.  He likes the music that plays as he's moving which helps soothe him.  It doesn't take long for the slow, relaxing movement and music to put him to sleep.  I get my food and sit at the table where I can watch him.  It's still amazing to see him.  I thought that after Kayleigh I'd be used to the surreal feeling, but it doesn't go away.  Every second that I get to spend with either of them is amazing, and they still surprise Justin and I every day. 

He looks so peaceful sleeping, so I move a little further away not wanting to wake him.  It's not like he's tired from being awake half the night, so it won't take much to wake him.

"Momma?" Kay whispers down the steps just loud enough that I can hear her.  I walk over and open the gate at the top so she can walk down.  She lifts her arms up, wanting me to hold her.

"Is daddy still sleeping?"  I ask.  She nods her head yes and points to Bentley.  Her voice full of slumber makes her even cutier than normal.

"We play?"

"Not yet, he's napping."  I carry her into the kitchen putting her in her highchair so she can't run over and wake him.  She talks to me about random things, and eventually gets quiet again right before I'm about to hand her her breakfast.  I look over to see that she fell back asleep.

I wish I could sleep like that.

"Hey, where's Kayleigh?"  Justin walks downstairs a while later clearly worried she might have gotten in trouble.  I point to the high chair and he sighs of relief.  Normally if we aren't watching every little thing she does she's ruining something.

"I wish they would've slept like this last night."  He makes himself some coffee and sits next to me "That would've really helped."

"I can't believe I didn't hear him crying.  I must've really been tired."

"You were."  He laughs "She came over at midnight and was jumping on the bed while I was downstairs getting a bottle for him and you didn't even move."

I laugh as well picturing her doing that.  She's done it to Justin before too.  We never really know what she's going to do, and most things end up getting her in trouble.

"I'm so tired."  I yawn trying to stay awake "I never thought about how hard the sleep deprivation would be with both of them.  It feels like I haven't slept in days."

"I know how you feel.  They just don't understand the importance I guess.  I can't wait until they sleep just a little better.  Anything more than a few hours of sleep a night would help."

He walks over to pick Kay up out of her highchair and lays her in the little fort that they made together yesterday.  Bentley continues to sleep, hopefully taking one of his long naps, and I go out to the kitchen to finish all the dishes from this morning.  

"There you are."  Justin walks out into the kitchen looking for me "Let's go sleep on the couch or something.  We need the rest."

"Okay."  I agree with the idea immediately following him into the room.  He lays down on the couch first, motioning for me to lay next to him, and wraps his strong arms around me.

A minute later, Bentley wakes up crying.