The Warlord's Prize

Chapter 10 - Honesty

As the hours went by, I remained by Shan Yu's side, sitting on the small wooden stool like my bottom was glued to the seat. I looked at him with fear of what he'd do to me when he woke up. Would he still punish me, or would he be grateful that I decided to help him?

I had grown hungry and tired, but the fear of leaving him was what made me ignore those needs. He breathed slowly, heavily, and not once did he snore. To me, he looked so peaceful when he was asleep, and less fearsome than before. A smile came on my lips as I watched him. If only he had kindness in his heart, then I could show it more often.

A light snowfall blew into the tent. Hayabusa entered with them over to his stand and ruffled his feathers to get the snow off of him. I turned and chuckled upon seeing him all puffed up like he had just dried himself off from a good bath. He gave a low screech and I stood up, grabbed a rag from nearby and wiped up the piles of vomit that Shan Yu had hurled on the table and floor. The map was covered with a few bits like little mountains were growing out of it. I gathered them up until the rag was a wet sack of puke.

I went outside and the sky was a creamy orange, overcast with light snowflakes blowing down from the mountain peaks. It was long past midday and the temperature dropped, while the sunlight struggled to break through the dense clouds creating the orange pigment. It would set in a few hours and it looked like it would light up the mountains ablaze once again. The camp was quiet as I made my way through it towards the same pit where I had cooked the horse meat. They're not going anywhere until their leader is better, I thought.

Once I reached the ditch, I unfolded the wet rag, tossed the contents into the snow, and washed the rag in the pot back inside the mess hall tent. The two large shirtless men sat across from each other at a table eating ribs. I walked past them quietly and hoped they would not give me lustful eyes. How could I forget the first time all of them were staring at me before I was brought to their leader? The thought of possibility of gang rape if Shan Yu did not claim me for himself, would have been worse.

Then their chowing of meat turned into soft chatter.

"There she is, the big man's pretty prize,"

"Yep, I can't wait to hear screams coming from the tent, she's a real beauty."

I ignored them and swallowed my words to stand up for myself. Show some respect, you helped me save his life!

I entered Shan Yu's tent and sat down on the stool by his side placing the rag back where it was before. Hayabusa looked at me opening his beak a little but no sound came out. For a bird, his body language seemed to tell me that he was pleased I was cleaning up after his master.

Then I turned to Shan Yu again, leaning forward in my stool with my head resting in my hands. His right arm lay across his chest as he breathed. I sighed, he was feeling better, but fast asleep, he may not even wake up until morning but I should still stay here.

Then he began to stir, and his breathing increased as he moved his left hand towards his face. This is it, please let the gods make him spare me for what I did to help him, I thought as I watched him slowly rise. He sat up rubbing his eyes and opened them to see me. I sat back obediently and tried to hold my fear inside.

"Emily.....what happened?" He asked rather calmly than I had expected. He placed his hand on his stomach and groaned with discomfort.

I had to tell him the truth, "Shan Yu....I....I'm so sorry, I know I ruined everything today, I under-cooked your food and gave you meat that you didn't like..."

He groaned again holding his stomach, "Ahh, now I remember. I was about to fuck you by the front of the tent,"

My heart thudded but I continued with honesty, "When you passed out....I went to get some help. Chi Zhong and two other men put you in a more comfortable spot to rest. It was just food poisoning, nothing serious according to Yong Ro. He also told me to remain here with you until you wake up. I cleaned up the mess you made, and well.....I've been sitting here ever since,"

Shan Yu did not answer me at first, he tucked his thick legs close to him and rubbed the bald top of his head like he had woken up from a bad dream, "You got my men to help me and then you stayed by my side?"

I nodded, "I can't leave your side, I would never forgive myself if I did....I......I still ruined everything....I know what you're thinking, I deserve to be punished," Then I slid off the stool, got on my knees and started to pull the tunic over my head until Shan Yu spoke again,

"No. Keep it on,"

I pulled it back down and looked at him in silence and shock,

"You remained loyal to me... I did not expect that from you ," He paused and groaned some more feeling the returning discomfort in his stomach, "I won't fuck you, not today. We are similar, you know. You have the same sense of compassion..."

He has compassion? How does he have compassion? He doesn't have any of that for other people except those in his army. I thought.

"I know what you must be thinking: Ruthless leader of the Huns only cares for himself. I care for my men. I care for my people. They are what drive me forward. Do you understand this?"

I nodded my head quietly and wondered if he was right. All my life I had dedicated to being kind to others, as long as they were kind to me, if someone was willing to keep me safe from danger, I would be loyal to them. It made me wonder was I being loyal to him in order to avoid his wrath, or because he had somehow saved me? Back in the village I had gazed at the mountains beyond it, wondering what lurked in there waiting for me; maybe it was him all along.

"Does it scare you that we may be alike?" He asked,

I nodded my head again afraid to speak worrying the wrong words would escape my mouth. He sounded like he was being kind to me again, but was he really up to something?

Then he got to his feet, "Come, I will take you back to your tent."

I quietly followed him across the camp. The sky had become darker now, and the last remaining sunlight struggled to peer through the dense clouds to light the mountains on fire. As soon as we reached my tent, Shan Yu gestured me to walk in front of him, and I trudged forward, straight towards the pelt bed in the back. Something did not feel right and my heart began to race, then what happened next went like lightning.

Shan Yu suddenly seized both my arms and held them up. I felt tears slowly flooding out of my eyes, as he pulled the tunic over my head and tossed it on the floor. I was naked once again, helpless, and horrified realizing he had tricked me all along. Then I felt him behind me, his right hand on my soft bare belly; the nails close to digging into it my flesh, and the other reached up and firmly squeezed one of my breasts. I was panting in fear, tears running, desperately hoping he would not push me onto the fur pelt and enter me. Please don't.....I helped you! I don't deserve this, please.....

His warm breath was on my neck once again and he pulled me against him, continuing to feel my body. "Were it not for my sense of compassion, I would be fucking you hard between battles, not ordering you to cook my meals." He whispered, his hands were all over me like my skin was sacred to him. "Soon, I will conquer you. I will fuck you so hard that all of China will be able to hear your screams. Nothing will save you. It is my compassion that delays me. And it will run out. I promise you that."

My whole body shook in fright, and then he released me. I fell to my knees and covered my breasts with both arms; he was someone I did not want to cross, no matter how hard I worked to please him, he would never reveal himself to have a kind heart. Tears rained down my cheeks and dripped onto my thighs

"Get some rest, we are riding at dawn." He ordered and turned away.

I sat still crying and waited for him to leave. As soon as his footsteps in the snow vanished to the other side of the camp, I threw myself onto the furry blanket, wrapped myself in it and wept more. The fur became damp from my tears. I would never be free, and every day I was closer to being broken, I had to escape, even if that risked angering him if I left. I would rather die than be his prize. When the time comes, I'll put an end to it. But how will I? I could starve myself, no if I did that he would find out soon why I am not eating and then force me to. I could also stab myself, but their weapons must be protected. Maybe I could run away and jump off a cliff, there are many cliffs in the mountains, yes that might be the only way after all.

After a long time of thinking, I curled up in the soft blanket and cried myself to sleep, hoping it would be dreamless and blank.