The Warlord's Prize

Chapter 16 - Broken

The night seemed endless; each passing moment felt like eternity and all I could do was lie shivering naked and traumatized about the almost-rape that happened. Shan Yu had stormed out of the tent before he could even force himself inside of me and start the immense pain. Why did he stop? Why? I continued to cry and seconds later the silence was broken from across the camp.

First I heard Shan Yu yell in anger as if he lost another battle and then what followed only made the aftermath worse; with his raging cries came the sound of destruction like things were being shattered on the floor. The noise persisted for what seemed like a long time. Whatever racket was happening in the camp would surely disturb the entire Hun army who were looking forward to hear my screams.

I lay with my legs tucked against me like a fetus still in its womb; I wanted to cover my ears to block out the noise coming from across the tent, but no avail from my hands being bound. What made him stop? Did this have to do with when he sulked after touching me before? I must have been! Those were the words I desperately wish I could be thinking right now, but instead I was thinking of the horror that had almost been unleashed when he was in here with me. I did not wish that he had done it instead; but after all the days of abuse, fondling and threats I felt like it all lead up to the fact that he had now broken me.

I was broken; nothing left to live for and day by day he had taken away the pieces of my heart and soul with his cruelty. Even if he did not fuck me, the fear of being in the moment where it was about to happen was just as scary as the fucking itself. It would leave a scar from now on as long as I lived. There is no way to escape him as long as I am alive.

Eventually the constant yelling and smashing halted and the quiet of the night poured into the camp. The only sound was a gentle breeze and the black tent's flaps swayed with it. My eyes were burning and I felt like I had run out of tears to produce. What will happen to me now if I stay alive? That was a question that I desperately wish the gods could answer for me. If I could just hear from them, choose whether to live or to die and they could take me to a better place if that was what I truly desired. I imagined they were watching over me sympathetically and then I soon fell asleep.

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I barely slept for the remainder of the night; it seemed that every hour I woke up freezing and wishing someone would cover me up with a blanket. Then at the same time my mind would fill up with traumatizing thoughts that would prevent me from falling asleep once again. I wish I could look outside to see how close it is to dawn, but even when morning gets here, nothing will be the same ever again. I won't ever be the same after tonight. I thought as I tried to fall asleep again but no avail. This was the third time that I had woken up so far and I would rather not have a fourth unless dawn was upon us.

Very slowly and quietly I uncurled and inched towards what I thought was the tent's flap. It was still too dark to see what was in front of me and all I could see was darkness with a small sliver of navy blue. To me it looked like an eel in a deep underwater abyssal trench. I crept closer and poked my head through the flap. It was still dark outside and nothing was stirring; the stars were slowly vanishing in the now dark blue sky and not a single torch or candle burned. The camp looked more peaceful than ever and as much as I wished I could tell myself that today was a new day; I could never be able to.

If only I could see the horizon where the sun would rise and let it bring this feeling that everything would be all right. I thought sniveling a little wishing that I could cry some more. Then the sky that was seen through the mountains became pale lavender from the hidden sunrise. It was enchanting from what could be viewed from here; the stars were gone now and the quiet stirring of Huns in their sleep grew. It was time to wake up. The beautiful silence of the camp was interrupted by Hayabusa screeching afar. I back away from the flap and wiggled back into the center of the darkness.