DIARY OF A CAT

17th November

6:00 A.M.

I was in deep sleep when I heard a blowing horn outside the house. I do not take such noises likely. They interrupt my beauty sleep. Normally, I need to take time to descend out of my heroic dreams. Such interruptions could cause memory lose. I read it somewhere. I did not bother to check who that annoying intruder was. Kelvin will take care of such unpleasant situations.

I slid into the last scene of my dream-movie where I played Jet Li. I had to rescue Sheila from the villain, Bunny. I was in the moment where I employed my last tai chi style to kill that foolish cat. I smiled in my dream-movie. After the threat he had given me last week Saturday, I had fortified myself against him, and I was prepared to barbecue his ass. Pardon my bad language.

“Ofori!” Suddenly I heard my name in a high pitch voice from Kelvin.

I did not respond. I had to see Bunny bleed to death this time around because when we first had an encounter, I kicked him over a building , and thinking he was dead I left but he hadn’t died. I needed to be sure he was dead before I woke up from this self-imagined dream.

“Ofori, wake up! Uncle Mark is in!”

Uncle Mark? I couldn’t believe this. I opened my eyes before Bunny died and before I had the last kiss

with Sheila. That, I would have it in real life, not a dream. Uncle Mark is the brother of Kelvin, and he is a ver good man and I like him so much. The arrival of Uncle Mark means good food, abundance of love and care and tutorial programs for kelvin on how to appreciate a precious cat of my caliber.

I jumped out of bed and raced out of my bedroom to meet Uncle Mark. he was in the living room when I entered. he was looking the same, taller than Kelvin with more muscles. kelvin is only a bag of bones. hahaha...

"Uncle MarK!" I called and raced to cling to him but suddenly two cats appeared from his back. I stopped in my steps and began to gaze at them.

"Who are these?" I asked.

"These are my cats." Uncle Mark responded with delight.

"BABIES!" one of them shouted with fury. It was a male cat.

"Yes, of course, babies" Uncle Mark corrected himself.

"He is Harrison, and she is Akua" Uncle Mark said with a glee.

"And who is he? Our servant?" Harrison asked, gazing at me with disgust.

"No. He is..."

"What?! He is not our servant?!!" Harrison broke down in anger. "But we told you we needed a servant to work for us and go errands for us?!!!"

My goodness! I could not believe what I was hearing and seeing. Where did Uncle Mark get him form?

"But I promised you I would in the right time." Uncle Mark said. "As I was saying, this is Ofori, the cat of..."

"Show us our rooms, Mark. I need to relax" Harrison interrupted rudely.

This is impossible! No, no, no, It must have been a dream. How could Uncle Mark acquire such a cat? I am bad for a fact but not that bad enough to yell at Kelvin and give him orders. at least, sometimes but for crying out loud, not always! It is barely morning, I mean for me, but I could not go back to sleep as if everything was alright.

"Mark, can you show us our fucking damn room! I feel stressed out and totally tired after a long drive. Does that mean anything to you?!!!!!!!!!" Harrison yelled, spitting drops of saliva in the air.

My jaw fell. I had to apply both hands to be able to lift it up.

Harrison walked away. Akua, the female cat, followed without any word. I looked at Uncle Mark.

"Um, forgive his behaviour. He gets that way sometimes" Uncle Mark said.

"No, problem" Kelvin said.

"No, problem?" I couldn't hide my feelings anymore. I had to spill it out. "That cat of yours has to undergo anger therapy..."

"MARK!!!!"

I was interrupted by the loud scream from Impossible Harrison.

"I'm coming!" Uncle Mark responded.

"tell him to stop yelling in this house. Not when I am around, otherwise him and I won't start on a good note." I said plainly.

"Ofori, don't be that way" Kelvin said.

Uncle Mark heaved a sigh and walked off. I stared at kelvin and he stared at me, too. I shoke my head and walked away. Today's Saturday, and I have a date with Sheila. I need to look refined fro the night, which means longer hours of sleep and lots of milk to calm down my nerves, increase the silkiness of my fur and make me look fresh in the eyes of my beloved Sheila.

"I DON'T LIKE THIS ROOM!!!!!"

That cat yelled again. I needed some earphones, otherwise I would go deaf before evening and I wouldn't hear when Sheila would say: "I love you"

Hmm... what a morning!