a day in the life of Adele

Chapter 24

I felt somebody trying to wake me up. Awaking from my deep sleep, I said, "Simon, what are you doing?"

I opened my eyes.

It was Angelo.

"Mummy! Wake up, wake up! It's my birthday!" He excitedly yelled, waking Simon.

Wide awake, I remembered what today was: October 19, 2016. Angelo's birthday. He was already four years old today.

"Happy Birthday baby boy!" I pulled him into me for a hug.

He's not a baby anymore, I thought to myself. That brought out a lot of emotions in me. He was growing up so fast. It honestly felt like it was just a few months ago that I gave birth to him.

I stare into his sweet face. He still looked just like me. He had bright blue-green eyes that were a perfect mix of Simon's eyes and my own. He had my nose and Simon's lips, with a full head of soft dark blonde hair. He was just perfect in every way, and staring into his face right now made me so emotional.

Simon kissed his cheek and wished him a happy birthday. Angelo had a wide smile and a bright glow to his face.

"Do you know how old you are today?" Simon asked him, even though he knew the answer.

"I'm four daddy!" Angelo said, holding up four fingers and saying it as if it was just the greatest age in the world.

Four whole years had passed since I first held him in my arms. It was going by so fast.

"You're such a big boy, Angelo!" I tell him, still holding him in my lap. He was too cute.

He grins and squirms out of my lap, beginning to jump on the unmade bed.

For his birthday party, we invited close family and friends to a scenic park outside of London. Luckily, today was a beautiful 65 degree day with a gentle breeze.

The party was a huge success, and Angelo genuinely had a great time. I got so much entertainment out of watching him run around and play with so much energy. Hearing his laugh just topped it all off.

Of course, having Simon by my side as we watched our family and friends, as well as our son, all together having a good time made me emotional. I was really happy and proud of myself for getting this far.

When I got home, I stopped for a second in front of an old photo I had hanging up on the wall.

I was 22 years old, in the middle of my heartbreak following the breakup that inspired "21." It was during Laura's birthday party, and it was a special night because it was the first time I had laughed and had a good time in a while. I can see through my smile into my eyes. They are filled with sorrow, and not even a genuine smile can deflect it.

I don't know why I chose that photo to hang up, but looking at it now makes me glad that I did. I whisper to my younger self, "You did it. Look at far you've come."

Angelo is passed out in my arms, exhausted from playing all day. I take him upstairs while Simon gets ready for bed.

I lay him down in his bed and cover him with a blanket. Nothing seems to wake him up.

Taking this moment all in, I sit down next to his bed and run my fingers through his hair. He has the most relaxed expression on his face, completely matching the relaxed expression he had when I first saw him.

It was hard to accept that my little boy was growing up. As much as I couldn't wait to see who and what he was going to become, I would miss these days of innocence. I would miss him needing me when he fell and got hurt, when he wanted a playmate, and when he wanted a cuddle. There would be a day when I could no longer pick up him. There would be a day when he wouldn't let me hold him as much as he does now.

He was going to grow up, and be able to make decisions for himself without me having a say. I would be so proud of him as he became older, but I would certainly miss moments like the one I'm in now.

I couldn't take any moment for granted.

So I calmly watch him sleep. Since he normally didn't sit still with me long enough for me to get through an entire song, I decide to sing "Make You Feel My Love" to him. He wouldn't hear it completely, but I was still singing it to him and that meant a lot.

"When the rain is blowing in your face..." I start, closing my eyes and opening them occasionally just to see his sweet face.

I get extremely emotional during the whole song, letting the lyrics get to me.

The love I felt for this little boy was so immense and giant that I could never fully describe it. I didn't know I was capable of loving someone so much.

When I sing the last line, a deep voice joins me.

"....to make you feel my love." I sing, hearing Simon's voice with my own.

He has a bright, warm smile on his face as he stands in the doorway of Angelo's room.

"I love you, Angelo. I love you so much." I whisper to him, kissing his forehead and walking to the door to hug Simon.

He pulls me into him and holds me. I feel incredibly warm and safe in his strong arms. He kisses the top of my head.

"I can't believe he's four." I say.

"He's a big boy. He's growing up fast." Simon says, sounding proud.

We fall asleep relatively quickly. He holds me in his arms and I drift off feeling protected and so so happy.

That night, I have a vivid dream of Simon getting up and whispering, "I love you so much, Adele" and then leaving.

In my dream, I ask him where he's going but he just tells me it's okay and to go back to sleep.

When I wake up, I am slightly scared and I reach over to find Simon.

But he isn't there.

His side of the bed is empty.