a day in the life of Adele

Chapter 30

"Of course you can make it!" "I don't want you to miss out!" "It wouldn't be the same without you!"

Several responses run through my mind, none of them sounding right. I blurt out, "Well, what can I do to help?"

There is no going back.

She took her eyes away from the pavement and looked into my own. Her eyes were full of despair.

"I need you to help me get through this. I feel bad turning to my family because they're all grieving this too. I need someone who is strong, and there's no better person than you."

Returning her gaze back down, I slide closer to her on the bench and put my arm around her. I could feel her pain.

"Laura, I know you'll get through this. It will take time, but I know you will."

"How do you know? I've never experienced anything like this. How do you go on after something like this? Nothing is the same, nothing ever will be." She begins to cry now, burying her head in her hands. Her shoulders shake as she cries.

I let her cry, not answering for a few minutes. My heart broke for her. She had gone through tough times before, but I've never seen her this sad.

She needed a distraction, something to remind her that some things would still be the same.

I ran my hand up and down her back, and began suggesting things. "First of all, I know you'll get through it because you're Laura Dockrill and you are incredibly strong." She manages the faintest smile, but it disappears quickly. I continue, "I'm going to start helping you, from right now to the end, ok? I'm here for you no matter what."

She nods her head and hugs me. "I love you."

"I love you too. Now let me start helping you by forcing you to take a shower."

She laughs, and I'm sure it's the first time she has since the funeral. That makes me proud.

I drive her back to my house, and have her call her husband on the way. She tells him she is going to spend a couple days with me, to distract herself and to start getting through this. He understands completely.

When she hangs up, she looks out her window and watches the rain. It looks like a scene out of a music video.

I try to think of a funny story to tell her, but I don't know if she is in the mood. I go for it anyways. "So yesterday, I went to Target to look around, even though I obviously didn't need anything."

That alone makes her laugh, so I keep going.

"I ended up spending £250. Can you believe that? To make it worse, I bought cat food, and I don't even have a cat!"

"You are a victim of the Target Effect." She says through her laughs.

"I'm probably the biggest one. You'd think I'd have enough sense to tell myself, 'Adele, you know you don't need that.' But no, I lose all common sense the second I walk in."

"What else did you buy that made it so expensive?"

"I don't even know. It was a surprise to empty the bags. I bought mascara that I already had three tubes of, makeup remover that I knew didn't work very well, food because I was hungry, I think I bought the cat food because I loved the kitten on it, I could keep going."

She laughs again, and it sounds like it used to- genuine and real.

"You have the best stories." She tells me.

"I just have no intelligence, that's what causes me to do dumb things and have those stories." I say as we pull into the driveway.

She seems distracted already, and I want to keep it that way.

"Listen, you know where the guest room is and the shower still has some of your stuff in it, now go take a shower right this second."

"Ok, geez, I just got here." She jokes.

The two of us got together so often that she basically had a whole other house besides her own here. The guest room was really her room, and the shower she used always had her own stuff in it. I loved that about our friendship.

I watch as she heads up the stairs and into the guest room, looking lost in thought. She had to be so tired.

As I walked upstairs, I heard Angelo's door creak open. His little face emerged from the darkness.

"Mummy, where were you?" He says with a confused look.

"I just went to pick up Aunt Laura, she wanted to have a sleepover."

"Oh, ok mummy. Is she feeling better?"

"Yeah, she's feeling better. But don't ask her about her mummy ok? It might make her sad."

"Ok, I won't. I promise." He said, his eyes heavy with sleep.

I picked him up and laid him back down in his bed, sliding his blanket over him and singing until he fell back asleep.

The peace that overcame him when he slept always brought me peace. I kiss his cheek and head to Laura's room.

She is wrapped in a towel staring at the mirror with a defeated expression.

When she notices my presence, she picks up her hairbrush and says, "Can you help me?"

I laugh. Her hair is a mess, even after she conditioned it. "How long has it been since you've brushed your hair?" I ask.

She pauses, considering this. "I guess a week."

"This may take a while." I say, grabbing the hairbrush and getting to work.

I see a smile etched across her face. She was making progress already.

I could only hope she would make enough progress to feel better for the wedding. It truly wouldn't be the same without her.