Together we can make it

Whats going on?

I shouldn't of said anything.
I should have said to him 'yeah it happened I'm just not ready for a relationship with what's going on right now.'
But no I decided it didn't happen. What's wrong with me?
I should go see him I've been pacing this bench for and half hour now.
That's it I've decided I'm going!

I get to Lukes house and knock on the door.
No one answered. His dad was still at my place.
I turn the knob and it opens, I walk inside.
Luke is no where downstairs so I'm going to check upstairs he's probably in his room ignoring me.
"Luke? I'm coming in!"
I turn the knob and walk in.
There he is balling his eyes out blood dripping from his wrists a puddle forming beneath him. He's pale as snow.
"Luke! Oh my god! What the fuck did you do? What did you do Luke!!??"
I take out my phone and dial 911. I tell them what's going on, they say an ambulance is in its way.
"E-li-Eliza I'm sorry, I'm so so so sorry." Luke says drooling and more and more his skin color is fading.
"Luke sh sh it's okay it's fine, everything's going to be fine. An ambulance is in its way, alright?"
"I pwomishd I'd pwotect you Eliza and keep wu safeee" I make out from his sobs for air.
I hear sirens draw closer and a knock on the door. I run down stairs and bring them into Luke.
They place him on a carrier and take him away.
"Eliza please don't leave me! Please stay, I can't keep myself safe!"
The ambulance caregiver looks at me and nods and I hop in sitting next to Luke.
They knock him out with a gas and start bandaging his wrists.

By the time we got to the hospital more and more of his color came back which was good. His dad and mom came and I told them what happened. They weren't mad at me they understood. They explained to me that I have to be careful about what I say to Luke because he will most likely take it the wrong way.
But the thing is. Most of the things he said are true. I do push people way. I do lie that they leave me. I can't handle the ideas of someone loving me I think it's a joke and I'm being played.
Luke was still passed out on the hospital bed so I took his hand and held it tight.
By the time he woke up it was two hours later.
He turned and looked at me. His eyes were all red.
"I'm sorry Eliza." He says tearing up.
" never do that again Luke! You know now you're the selfish one because there are loads of people who love you and you'd dump all of it because of a few misunderstood words?!" I say mid cry.
"I know everything you said about me was true I can't handle love... I'm scared okay! I never had its day when you yelled I didn't think it would ever happen again. I almost lost you, you big dumb idiot!" I say not letting him speak now bursting in tears.
" I'll never do that again Eliza. Okay Eliza? I promise Eliza." He says full on crying.
"When you get home we are dumping any item you used to do that! You get me?!"
"Yes Eliza. I promise Eliza." He says in short sobs
"I'm going home Luke."
"Eliza you can't go home! You're not safe please stay with me!" He says pleading
I turn to Lukes dad and he says " I spoke with your father he now understands to stop drinking or hitting of all sort of he will lose you completely and that if he snuck to meet you he would be arrested."
"Okay please take care of him" I say to his parents and they nod and I turn to leave.
As I'm walking down the hall I hear my name in a crying tone being yelled but then it was cut short. They must of drugged him.

When I got home I went directly upstairs, even when my dad tried to stop me to say sorry. I shut my door and flopped on my bed. I hear a soft knock.
"Eliza I'm sorry about yesterday or any day I've caused you trouble. I'm going to AA so I'll get better. It's okay if you want to be with that boy, but you know I just want you to be safe okay baby? I love you."
Then I hear soft steps walk away from the door.
I lay on my side and a tear drifts down my face.