The Hatred That Grows In Us All

Depression Is Like A War

Depression is like a war. You either win or lose your life trying to fight for something that you believe is important. People usually say that suicide kills, but really it's depression that's tortuous and leaves you at a vulnerable stage. No one really understands the pain of someone who is questioning their existence or their importance on this Earth. You are automatically labeled as crazy just because the only option you can turn to is suicide. The choices you make really makes a difference on whether you will live with regrets for the rest of your life or for as long as you are willing to stay on this Earth. The importance of a person reaching the point of no return is sometimes undermined. You will never know what it feels like to lose someone because they decided to take their own life until it happens to someone that you love. When death comes knocking on your door, you make the decision to either open the door or put a lock on everything that you hold dearly.

I wish that I could say that even in my final moments I stayed strong. I made my decision not aware of how much I would soon come to regret it. In my final moments I replayed it over and over in my head until I had no other option but to be satisfied with how it ended. It was to late for me to die with regrets. When I soon came to the realization that I stood face to face with the demons that have haunted me my entire life, I knew that it was over. They finally got what they wanted even if it wasn't my mother. I wished that I could rewind it and go back. I stood there thinking about what Mrs. Brown said to me.

"Just know that you have the potential to be anything great and you are one of the smartest people that I have met in my lifetime. Don't let such a beautiful life go to waste."

     The sad part of it all was that I did let it go to waste. Only if I met Alex when I was younger. Maybe, just maybe I wouldn't be where I was now. I wasn't blaming her, but my decision would have been different if she was in my life. Unfortunately, she came to late and even she couldn't change a thing. If I wasn't so stubborn and an emotional wreck, she could have made a bigger difference in my life. In my final moments, I walked behind them as I entered the place that I wished I haven't. All I could say in those final moments was.............

I'm sorry Alex.

    

     My word of advice to anyone in the same situation that I was or worse, is don't end up like me. Don't make the decision to do something that you would die regretting. One person can really make a difference even if they come later in your life. I know that I said that if Alex came earlier in my life, then I wouldn't have made a stupid choice like that, but if I didn't let my emotions get the best of me, I would have seen the difference she made in my life in those few months. She changed my life just by being there for me. Don't let your emotions get the best of you and don't give in to the demons in your head telling you otherwise.

     When death comes knocking on your door, you make the decision to either open the door or put a lock on everything that you hold dearly. I guess I chose to open the door and face my demons. However, you have the choice to put a lock on everything you hold dearly. It was to late for me, but it's never to late to make a difference in your life. Hopefully I could have made a difference in someone's life just by telling my story.

     In my last seconds, I could feel a tear drop fighting its way to come out.

And it finally did.

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I would like to thank my awesome friend maythekilljoy for supporting me and encouraging me to finish this story. If it wasn't for you, this story wouldn't have been written. You told me how imperative it was to finish this story and you stood by me every step of the way. I couldn't have pictured anyone better to finish this story with. I would also like to thank the people who took the time out to read this. I know you probably read better stories than this, but I tried.