The Hatred That Grows In Us All

The End Of The Road

     It has been a week now since Alex walked out on me. I could feel the pain in my heart knowing that I hurt her. All she ever did was try to be my friend, but I was stubborn and kept pushing her away. When I finally did allow her to come into my life, I was the one to mess things up. I despised my life even more than I did before. I realized how attached I got to her in just three months. At least I had Mrs. Brown I thought. I was stuck in my room all day staring at the ceiling. I was relieved when I found an excuse to leave the house. I usually left the house only when my mom got drunk and crazy, but she was asleep on the couch, so I didn't really have a reason to leave my comfy bed. It would soon become cold and empty with my absence, but I was so busy with the project that I barely visited Mrs. Brown.

     After giving it a final thought, I forced myself to get out of bed. Normally, I would have snuck out of my window, but for some reason I felt like using the door for once. I slowly opened my bedroom door making sure that no sound came from it. I knew she was asleep, but this could have been her way of making me think that she was so I would come out of the room. I went down the stairs as slow as I could, but fast enough to get out of the house. When I made it down the stairs I quickly walked to the door. I opened it, then ran out before closing it shut.

     I walked for a while before I was face to face with Mrs. Brown's house. There was an ambulance in front of the house. I ran inside to see Mr. Brown quickly putting on a jacket. I looked to see two paramedics carrying Mrs. Brown out of the house. Before Mr. Brown could say anything, I knew what was going on.

"What happened?"

"I woke up this morning to see that she wasn't breathing. I was terrified and quickly called for an ambulance. I'm going to the hospital now."

"Can I come with you? I know they only allow one person to go, so I could take the car and follow you there."

     Without saying another word, he got the keys out of the pocket of his jacket and tossed it to me. We both ran outside the house and I watched as he got in the ambulance as I got into the car. I started the car and drove behind the ambulance making sure to focus on where it went. I didn't know which one hurt the most, knowing that I lost Alex or being there to see Mrs. Brown die in front of me.

     When I got to the hospital, they wouldn't let me see Mrs. Brown. I waited patiently for an hour before Mr. Brown came with the terrible news. Mrs. Brown was dead. I could feel the tears fighting its way to get out. I didn't want to believe it. It couldn't have been true. She was perfectly healthy the last time I saw her. How could she leave so soon? Mr. Brown took me to the room afterwards. I sat in the chair next to her and held her cold hands in mine. I stared at her lifeless body knowing soon that I would join her. The sad part of it all was that I was going to another place where my demons would soon become the only things I see.

     I left the hospital in tears. I could see how hard it was for Mr. Brown to hide his emotions. He was clearly in pain, but he tried so hard to stay strong and put a smile on his face. He decided to drive, since my vision became blurry from all the tears. We drove in silence before he finally said something.

"We were pretty young when we fell in love. The moment I saw her I knew she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Do you want to know what she said to me before we went to bed last night?"

I nodded my head.

"I love you. That's what she said to me and honestly I wouldn't mind dying tomorrow knowing those were her last words. I will never see that bright smile of hers, but the memories that I have of her keeps me going no matter how hard it is to face the truth that she's now gone."

     The rest of the drive home was in silence. I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I've dealt with so many pain before in my life, but it was never as bad as the one I felt now. When we finally came to a stop, I knew I was home. I got out of the car. Thank you was all I could say. I began to walk away, but I came to a stop when I heard him say something.

"This was not your fault. Don't hurt yourself because of  what happened. We both know that she wouldn't want that."

    I nodded my head and continued walking. When I got to the door of my house, I was hesitant about opening the door. After five minutes, I opened the door and tried to quickly make my way up the stairs before she could say anything.

"Where have you-"

     I ran straight to my room and locked the door before I collapsed. I wasn't in the mood to hear her yell. I was afraid that I might do something I would regret. I got up and walked to my bed. I laid there for hours before I finally fell asleep. The only sound I could hear before I drifted away was a knock on my door.

----------------------------------------------------
It has been a while since I posted something, so I'm just glad that I could. I needed a break from this story and some time to collect my thoughts.