The Hatred That Grows In Us All

The Perishing Blossom Tree

I guess it wasn't a bad idea to have a group project after all. We only had two days left to finish the script, but if we kept going at a fast pace, we would be done with it before the last day approached us. The more time I spent with Alex, the more I actually began to like her. She was like the opposite of me in so many ways. Opposites really do attract.

She never bothered asking me why I never invited her to my house. I actually didn't mind because there was no way for me to explain it to her without sounding insane. I never realized that she never noticed the cuts on my arm since they were always exposed. When she finally did, it took me by surprise but not completely. She was handing me the script, so I could make any revisions if necessary and that's when she saw it.

"What's that on your arm? Did you get scratched by a cat multiple times?"

"Yeah let's go with that."

"I'm being serious. Did you do that to yourself?"

"Isn't it beautiful though? This is my collection. It took years to acquire this magnificent masterpiece, but it was worth it."

"No, it's not beautiful and how could you act like this is normal?"

"Because it is. This was not as bad as the pain that I felt my entire life and I guess I got use to it."

"Promise me that you will call me. I know that I don't know what drove you to this point, but I can't sit around and let you continue this."

I gave her my word, but it really wasn't going to make a difference. I forgot about my collection after a while. I didn't even realize that I had until one day I just stopped. I can't really say that I knew why. I was pretty convinced that they did it. They were always pushing me to do things. I know they were the ones that placed the razor in my hand each time. The sad part was that I wasn't astonished after coming to that realization. I didn't even know which one was worse, knowing that they did it or not having the courage to do something about it.

     The next day at school was pretty terrible. I'm pretty sure Alex never wants to talk to me after our little incident. I didn't want to believe that Alex was actually my friend. When you spent your entire life not knowing what being friends with someone felt like, you would probably assume that it's a joke when you finally create a bond with someone.

     So, it was the usual day at school for me, drawing on my notebook instead of paying attention to whatever was going on in the class. After class, I was at my locker getting my clothes for gym when Alex came up to talk to me. I didn't know whether she wanted me to talk to her back, but I didn't really say anything to her. I ignored her for the most part. There were a group of girls watching, so I couldn't let them see me talking to Alex. I was the one that nobody really wanted to mess with and I wanted to keep it that way. Alex finally got the hint and she walked away without saying anything else.

     After school, I saw her sitting by herself outside. Everyone left, so I guess it was just me and her there. I didn't know whether to go talk to her or walk home, so I went with the first option.

"Hey."

"Is that all you can say to me?"

"Well, that's how most people start a conversation."

"I don't even know why you're talking to me. Are you embarrassed of me or something? We're friends when no one is watching, but when all eyes are on you, suddenly I'm just a stranger."

"That's not at all how it is. You're making it sound bad."

"Then explain it to me."

"You don't know what it's like to spend your entire life building a wall between you and the outside world. I tried to be strong because it was the only thing that I could do. For me, having a friend was only a weakness. I don't want someone else to suffer with me because I know that pain more than you think. I'm not embarrassed by you. I'm just not ready to hand over my title yet."

"When you're ready, it will be to late. You really don't know the meaning of friendship, do you? A friend is there to stand by your side through thick and thin. I don't care if I have to suffer with you because that's what friends are for. I want to feel your pain, but I guess we have two different definitions of what a friend is.

     With that she just got up and left me there feeling like an idiot. I guess that's how it felt to have someone walk away from you. I knew I should have went after her, but I stood there not wanting to move. All I could do at that point was watch her leave. Alex and Mrs. Brown were the only two that brought light into my dark life. I couldn't live without one of them. They both played a different role in my life.

     Sadly I never realized that I would soon come to live without one of them.

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I'm just happy that I'm almost done with the book!!

YAY!!