My hearts become too cold to break .::ELY::.

The Brutal Realization.

I stand waiting for Eugene to show up so we can just film this video already, and I can stop being nervous about the next three weeks.
"Ready to marry me for almost a month?" Eugene asks as he makes his entrance.
I roll my eyes but stand up and follow him to Where Ned is standing with Keith and Zach who are filming.
"Awe did you guys mean to dress like that?" Ned asks Eugene is wearing a black suit, he had an interview this morning, and I decided to try something completely out of my usual and I wore just a white sundress and some Dr. Martens.
"Awe we're precious," I smile.
"Let's just get married already," Eugene says

We get through the fake wedding ceremony and we start our "married" life by taking my car back to my house, the only person from work that's ever ridden in my car is Zach, who is following us to my car laughing the entire way.
"Why are you laughing?" Eugene asks.
"You'll see," Zach laughs and I unlock my car and reach in starting the engine and the radio starts blaring 570 by Motionless in White. Eugene stares at me looking a little confused.
"How?" He asks.
"My dad's a huge metal head and I took after him," I smile.
"Such a big sound for such a small person," Eugene says,"I'll get used to it, let's go home,"
I smile. I'm such a closet metal head at work half of the time I have my headphones on at work I'm listening Lamb of God or Motionless In White. I turn the music down and head to my house after picking up Eugene's clothes and his two pups. I want to say it's going to be hard adjusting to living with someone again but we all know that's a huge lie. I help Eugene get settled in while Zach and Couple interns follow us around my house. Once the actual cameras are gone we make dinner.
"The plus side of this being filmed for so long is that we don't have to filming anything unless we leave the house," Eugene says taking a sip of wine.
"I forgot the hidden cameras, that aren't so hidden." I say pointing to a go pro on top of my cupboard, pointed towards the camera, after dinner it's like any other time Eugene and I are together, we drink, we make small talk, we physically ignore each other. I put my phone down and look up at Eugene as his camera flash goes off.
"What are you doing?" I ask rubbing my eyes trying not to see spots.
"You'll see," he says smiling at me. A couple minutes later my phone dings signaling that I have a notification, there's two one from snapchat the other from Instagram, Eugene tagged me in a huge collage of the two of us with the caption,
'You're the definition of a best friend, and you're a huge dork and I hate you😉 just kidding this is going to be the best sleepover yet'
"You fucking nerd," I laugh as I double tap the picture liking it. Then I check the snapchat.
It also is from Eugene, it's me the picture he just took,
"I get to sleep next to this for two weeks" I look so mad there's no way to describe the look on my face. I check the other people's stories and see Eugene's story is just a bunch of snaps of me from the drive home to right now, and they all have various captions.
"Time for bed say good night to snapchat," I say standing up Eugene follows me to my bathroom which is the one room we have to record in, so he does, I wash my face and take all of my makeup off before brushing my hair out, in between head banging to music Only I can hear thanks headphones, you're the real MVP. I can see Eugene laughing next to me,
"Don't fall in love with me, Eugene," I say stealing Ashly's line from her video. I pause my music and look back Eugene and take his phone.
"Your turn," I say he grabs a towel from the towel rack behind the door, and starts to take his shirt off.
"I don't want to be makes in this video, please?" He says I nod and turn away.
"I'll be down the hall if you need me," I say stopping the recording,"do you want me to leave your phone in here?"
"Beau, you're mumbling," he says I turn around I try not to pay too much attention to the fact that he's not wearing a shirt, or pants and that's he's standing in my bathroom in just his boxers. I instead stare blankly at the smug smirk that seems to always be on his face,"what did you say?"
"I'll be down the hall if you need me," I say he nods and I turn away.
I walk downstairs and check on the dogs all of which are snuggled up next to each other surprisingly. I walk back upstairs and to the guest bathroom to take a shower myself I play music and I turn it up loud enough that I can't hear myself sing along.

I get out and dry off wrapping a towel around my giant Afro of curls, while somehow managing to put on my pajamas, short and a baggy shirt, I walk back to my room as Eugene is walking out of the bathroom.
"I've never seen your hair without any product in it," he says pulling his shirt the rest of the way down.
I pull the towel off letting the curly beast free
"See what I have to deal with," I say climbing into bed.
"It's adorable," he smiles climbing to bed after me, he plays with my hair and I lean back against him, he found my kryptonite. Spending every night like this would be so perfect. At some point I fell asleep and when I wake up in the middle of the night Eugene has his arm wrapped around me, he's literally perfect. But this is just for a video, he doesn't actually feel like this, there's no way. There's no way anyone could, I roll over freeing myself from Eugene's grasp. I'm just destined to be alone, I'll always be that girl, the one who's never good enough to be in a relationship, the girl who's permanently friend zoned; that's my life. I was never meant to be someone's other half. No one is looking for me, in hopes to spend the rest of their lives with me. I'm meant to be alone. I'll never be the person to make someone else's life better because they met me. I'll never be good enough too. This is a mistake, I shouldn't have ever agreed to do this. What am I doing here?